jenc.id

faith

2009-10-03T23:13:00.001+08:00

always have faith in life
it helps
=)

bicycle

2009-08-23T16:07:00.004+08:00

i got a bike
borrowed it from teddy

i walked
all the way from ktm back to akasia
got scolded by cheryl

i simply commented on people's status
got chided

i simply planned
ended up getting nowhere

i intended to fast
ate two sweets instead

i am uploading photos
it jammed halfway

i want chinese food
have to settle with kuih muih instead

i wanted to finish my homework
ended up staring at the laptop

sometimes
i am just destined
to break my promise

if
i really cycled to intec or anywhere faraway
please
do understand
i have to do it
no matter what are the dangers that lie in front of me

for
i believed
i am destined to be different
and make a difference

forgive me
if i acted like a daredevil
i am just
someone
who needs a bicycle
and cycle all the way to the Alps
or live in a sea of flowers
with a small house in front of Misty mountain
enjoying a cup of tea
while staring at mother nature

forgive me
for my ignorance
for my penchant for loneliness

giving up

2009-08-14T09:57:00.002+08:00

for the first time in my whole entire life
i really give up
done with physics
arts and whatsoever
there's still a glimpse of hope
for math
stats
and mechanics though
but i might just choose to let it all go
and never come back
sounds pathetic

maybe i need a long lost holiday
yeah
and it's coming soon
hopefully
all well ends well

i did something that i have never done before in my life
which might be great or whatsoever
i know i can
but will i have the willpower to change it?
perhaps no
perhaps yes
but in the mean time let me dwell in my own patheticness
if there is such word

good. bye.

sleep

2009-08-07T17:03:00.002+08:00

we are so deprived of sleep
art art art
further further further
physics physcis physcis
mechanics mechanics mechanics
statistics statistics statistics

oh
and don't forget
english english english
oh.
i really need my sleep.

love

2009-08-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

like it or not
unfortunately
i am so in love

with my life at the moment.

opulent

2009-08-01T00:34:00.001+08:00

yes
i am living a life of opulence now.
ow.

Canon EOS 450D

2009-07-30T22:36:00.001+08:00

you eluded me
once
next time
you will be mine
now
i'll be grateful
so
don't cry dear.

stalker

2009-07-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

i am a stalker
i stalk someone
a genius
oops
the story ends here

the word that strats with "r" and ends with.

2009-07-30T17:29:00.002+08:00

i hate regrets
i hate regretting what i have done
i hate it
but i just can't get away from it
what if i ended up
really regretting it?
huh
perhaps
at least for now
those regrets
taht i regretted
is not that self-destructing yet
but
i just can't stop regretting
why?
decisions
sucks
i sucks
all this crap
it's time to wake me up with a bucket of cold water
and how i hope i can wash away all my regrets with the pouring rain
though it's not raining now
but
ah
it's not a surprise
i am just a jerk.
and useless

at least for now
maybe i'll become useful in the next few minutes.

an ode to the lady with the magic touch

2009-07-26T21:59:00.004+08:00

a very talented woman
someone
whose speech i was eagerly waiting for

and yet
in a twisted fate
she left

how cruel
could this life be?
we lost MJ
and a month later
Yasmin Ahmad bid farewell
in the most unexpected way

her legacy
will always live in our hearts
we
who grew up with her
touching
heart warming
commercial ad
funny yet cleverly woven masterpieces

her works transverse boundaries
she unites the people
through
sepet
gubra
...
and there are loads more to be explored

but she left
when the nation needs her the most
when 1malaysia
is just beginning to fluorish

it wasn't meant to be that way
ever

your speech
your writings
your blog
though i had only read it once
i was longing to read a new entry
where perhaps
you
might joke about your recent recovery from stroke
and yes
you might recover in time
to at least attend
the forum

oh
but you never make it
perhaps it was a blessing in disguise
perhaps
there is a silver lining behind it

but
for now
all i know
is that
the nation has lost her jewel
the most precious one

no one will ever replace you

may you rest in peace

the world is musical

2009-07-18T00:57:00.002+08:00

of
the world is musical
concerto
(note: it's pronounced as con-cher-to
just learned it from the cool and suave mr kamal :P)

the circle of life....
grease...
yesterday...
mj...
chua..

and the most important thing
J.CO DOUGHNUTS!!
(it's actually my company
i purposely put it as J.Co
hehe
i might be sued for that controversial statement
but who cares?? )

suddenly
the electric guitar jammed
it happens on the last and finale performance

no worries
well
everything that happens
has its own reason and why

it is a heck of an experience
i experiment with eyeliner
ewww
the first and perhaps
the last time
no thanks
make up..
adieu

well
nice doughnuts
i ate 4
haha.
taste damn good
well
what else can i say
the world is musical
and it's music that colours our life
and arts too
oh
so
enjoy :)

haha

2009-07-15T16:42:00.002+08:00

ok
so
i flunk
again
what else can i say?
i am a listen-learner.
and i need good lecturers
and yeah
all my lecturers are good
ah
i am not going to blab 'bout these things
it makes me feel worse
as
it sounded like i am running away from problems
hiding
and putting blames on other people
that is not exactly what i'll do

i hate praises
honestly
i just can't accept being praised
unless i really should get that
so
to those who said "thank you" just now
well
you guys didnt get to see the backstage scene
i can't do everything on my own
i have yong, fong and cheryl to help me
send photostat materials to the shop
whenever i decided to stuck in the library
i have dearest brother basilto collect money
and return me my money
and then there's iqbal
who helps to coordinate the ctis class
and there's all these people
(syahida-the driving force for me to FINISH my math
neb-the one who makes the class livelier (or perhaps, chaotic
suria-the one who brings sunshine (as long as she smiles more :)
farah-the brainy math queen
mimi-the new julia roberts with her 100 Megawatt smile
pachy-nice contacts!
wani-the elegant dancer
muni-the blogger
asyraf-the cute lil' teddy bear next door
ezzad-the lanky joker
din-the thin boneman
goh-the childish, snobbish yet kind-hearted guy
arief-the small-in-stature,big-in-heart fella
shahrol-ok.perhaps the handsome but "teruk" laughter dude
akmal-the quiet yet funny person (sorry lah, i accidentally bumped into you twice)
zahir(d)-the damn tall guy who is pious
sher min-the girl-wanna-be guy
long ge-the artistic michael jackson mimicker
henry-the helpful friend
and of course
who can forget kevin?
the one, just like neb
is the life of the class
(though actually, i might have given you too much compliment than yoyu deserved
since all of us actually bring life to the class (and we still do)
full of crap and kindness

so
don't thank me
thank everyone
for because of everyone in the class
we had (and still having) a hell lots of good time

i am so glad i am in this batch
man
imagine being stuck in a class
where in the beginning of the semester
they are so into math already/
gosh juniors
i am so speechless.

haha
that's all i wanted to say
(and yeah, i got a B again for physics. and i desperately need help)

again
congrats to fong hei and pin khiam
(it's been a while since i call you pin khiam,:P)
for getting 15 points :)

adieu

2009-07-15T02:06:00.002+08:00

perhaps.
5 years.
6 months.
14 days.
is not a short time.
trust me.
i know.
i hope.

sad mood
tears
cool shades
oh
and how
all were said
in 3 simple songs

she left
and she left with dignity
all the memories
will always be etched
in the history

some questioned
it is only 5 years
why be so emotional

oh
who are we
to dictate
to comment
on the relationship
that one has with the other

so long my friend
though i might not be seeing you again
for the chances to meet up again
might be slim
(like a coca-cola bottle perhaps)
then again
let's cherish the moment we have together
and
have fun enjoying life

so long dr
so long

changes and lots more of CHANGES!!!

2009-07-10T12:40:00.004+08:00

what does music mean to you?
"music is life!" says neb.
the happy-go-lucky and perhaps..
a little hyperactive girl in the class
(but hey, at least that's better than those who are so quiet..
man, i can't believe that my juniors actually don't talk
they just.. buried their heads in what? MATH!!! swt)

then syahida chirps in
"it's a form of art.
it's an imagination.
it's an expression"

that is what music means to us
and the world
and...

but hey
guess it doesn't mean a thing to the higher powers
as
yeah
"we would cut short the time allocated for other subjects such as music...bla bla bla..."
that's what one of the MOO(E) fellow said

yeah
so why not cut down time for arts as well?
that would have save the time
and we can concentrate more on what?
learning ENGLISH my dears..

oh yeah
just to be honest
i have no idea what am i learning
from form 1 until now
English is like
'hey, it's the sleeping time again"
(well, it's the same for moral, sejarah..
but eh, why don't they cut down the time allocated for moral?
or better of, just abolish it
that is a damn stupid subject
for so many years i studied moral
but i don't think it had been successful in making me a righteous person
ok. back to the point please....)

extending the hours of learning english?
reverting back to the old system?
they got the reason it all wrong.
it's better of for us to learn math and science in english
it's not to brush up our proficiency in in english
oh, for God's sake
it is so that we can be up to par with other countries
what's the point of learning in your mother tongue in primary and secondary school
if when you are in form 6 or matriculation,
all will be taught in english?
it's going to be a hell lot of suffer for the students.

yes
i do not deny that learning our mother tongue is important
but at least
let the teaching of math and science in english in secondary school to be continued
it is for the benefit of all
i see how the seniors have to struggle
when they had at least 11 years of science and math knowledge in malay
suddenly
in 2 years time
they have to re-learn everything
it is a huge burden
and who is it to bear
but the poor students who have to suffer because of the politicians' doing?

the students are the one who have to deal with the world
the politicians and the so-called whatever education group
you are too old to understand the wind of change i guess

malaysians will always be malaysians
creating records for no apparent reasons
bluffing all the way to the top
bickering and protesting
acting like hooligans
but when it comes to making the most important decisions
excuses, Excuses, EXCUSES

oh
how lucky are we
the policy is reverted before it can even show results
c'mon
get lectureres and teachers and tutors who are really really good in what they are supposed to teach
we can do it if we say we can

"MALAYSIA BOLEH????"
it's no longer an exclamation mark..
it should be replaced with the question mark (which i already did)

talking about changing the education system
no longer exam oriented
focusing more on extra-curriculum activities
well
all just go down the drain i guess

yeah
why not just abolish arts, music and sports?
we no longer need that
we need time for
-more english
-losing to other countries
-more moral
-civic

and of course
going back to square one

how pathetic are we?
memartabatkan Bahasa Malaysia?
eh kawan,
kalau Dewan Pustaka dan Bahasa asyik menambah
kosa kata dalam kamus
tetapi yang asal usulnya adalah dari perkataan Inggeris
macam mana kita boleh memartabatkan bahasa malaysia?
jangan lupa
famili, glossari
dan banyak lagi
semuanya, bukannya bahasa malaysia yang tulen
jadi
apa salahnya kalau matematik dan sains diajar dalam inggeris
apa gunanya menukar segalanya kepada bahsa malaysia apabila
bila kita menyebut perkataan tersebut
bunyinya tidak lari daripada bunyi dalam bahasa inggeris?
memartbatkan konon
anak sendiri pun dihantar ke sekolah antarabangsa

alahai
apalah nak jadi ni.....

dawn of a new beginning

2009-07-08T08:48:00.002+08:00

3rd semester
2nd year
ow
anyway
nefore i start blabbing
well
i had a whole lots of fun
fooling around with the juniors
though the price that i had to pay
is not exactly cheap either
(2 weeks without tv and i miss 24 when it is at it's most exciting phase
actually, that drama never fails to give me an adrealine rush)

well
juniors or not
seniors or not
it is fun to see all the new faces
though i ould have to admit
i'd like to be a junior rather than the so-called "dai ga jie"
and it sure does feel weird
having people to end your name with a "jie"
ow

my third semester is going to start anytime soon
not really a good feeling
hey
who likes the holiday to end?
i don't
but still
we just have to go through it
let's keep our finger crossed then
and hope for the best

when there is an end, the beginning starts.
so
guess i just have to embrace it with open arms
lol

of wrong turns and unexpected ending

2009-05-15T15:37:00.002+08:00

i have the tendency
to make the wrong choices
i think we human have that quality in us
so
that won't make me less human

again
i took the wrong bus
the alst time i did that
eh
i ended up in the same place as i did today
and now i realised
i amde the same mistake twice
wow
i do have poor memory sometimes
no
this is not really that bad as i ended up in the city centre only
there was once when i ended up in KLANG
it was raining and the road was flooded
thought the bus was going to break down
thank goodness it didn't

of all the wrong turns and choices that i made
looking at the brighter side
i do gain something isn't it

many things we'd learn
if only we are willing to take the first step
i do not fancy the same old non-stop shopping
i do not fancy taking the easy way out
for life
sometimes requires us to go deep further
and gain something ou of it
i'd rather cycle then drive
take the LRT then whine
many times i have fail
and yet
many times i had seen the unexpected outcomes

so
no fretting
just gonna continue to live it up

but there's a catch
this doesn't mean that you should forgive yourself for taking the wrong turn
for you might ended up wedding someone you don't like
:P

trat la la la la

2009-05-15T15:27:00.002+08:00

man
off they go go
to sunway the paradise
of food shopping and movies
oh
don't forget
the big K
Karaoke
wooo
oh yeah
guess who's gonna show off the singing talent?
guess who is left out?
nobody actually
for the one who choose to stay
did it because on her own reasons
and no qualms
no complaints

it's the end of the second semester
and
yeah
i had to admit
it is a rather unexpected second semester
where
many unexpected things get into my way
for goodness sake.
then again
it is an exciting journey
and another is bound to come
yeah
let's keep our finger cross
and may the best pop out in our way
:)

hail the king

2009-05-14T16:00:00.003+08:00

after assemblies under trees
after so many sleepless nights
tussles with the court
those who complained that we are not democratic enough
definitely get a hit in the face
and who is the big one giving the statement first?
definitely is the pathetic power hungry old goat
say
what is going on with us eh?
who once pride ourselves as the nation of harmony
the one that once say
only we have multiracial people living together

we are never past the historical day in may
never being able to let go
our gap has gone further and further apart
we are no longer our ancestors
we pride ourselves as
Malaysian Chineses
Malaysian Malays
Malaysian Indians
Malaysian Sikhs
Malaysian Bidayuhs
Malaysian Ibans
...
but aren't we all Malaysians???

gone are the time when we used to play
gasing
guli
wau
galah panjang
batu seremban
hide and seek
replaced by
PS
dota
warcraft

it is a shame
isn't it?
maybe
i do not deny
that we are in the modern world
but it is these little things that strengthen our bonds
now..
it just fade

either we stop all this nonsensical politicking
and get our feet back on the ground
or we will lose all our hard-earn recognition
and ended up.
going back to square one.

(we are malaysians, aren't we?)

i rocks

2009-05-12T16:14:00.001+08:00

trust me when i say that
i repeated the same mistakes
isn't it cool?
and what?
i am pretendinng to be cool?
haha
serves me right
imagine
can i still...
uhm...
get 15 points?
let us pray
and pray hard
and don't forget
work hard
and i am cool
though
it is cool in the uncoolest way
:P

mamamia

2009-05-11T17:00:00.003+08:00

so
if u think i am cool
since i can blog while the exam is still goin' on
well
what i can say is
hey
life goes on right?
be it you have just done your
physics
(awwwww)
english
(duhhhh)
and you have your
core math (C1,C2,C3,C4)
mechannics (M1,M2)
physics 3 (again...)
and
yes
the final paper
STATISTICS
(woohoo)
man..
it's gonna come to an end
just blink youe eyes and
ta-dah
it's over and a new day is approaching
so
why fret?
just
do whatever you can
let your hard work decide your result
:)
all well
ends well
no worries pals

man.. i need to redo my art
sorry pals
no hanging out after exam

serves me right for playing a fool...

beat around the bush

2009-05-08T09:42:00.003+08:00

i met one of the weirdest people
wanna know how weird?
who the stupid heck would want to steal other people's artworks?
who the stupid heck would want to make dupicate keys of an unnecessary room
when the money got is not even enough to live with?
who the stupid hell eh?

i beg your pardon
how could an untrustworhty person become a leader?
how eh?
it's a silly thing to say
fool

it's even more foolish to say nothing will happen in one day
nothing?
oh please
the swine flu epidemic happens in one day
spread around the world
can't you dare say that you won't die tomorrow?
maybe not even tomorrow
the next one hour you are hit by a car
what a fool

beating around the bush
making people's life miserable
doing unncecessary things
please
calling ownself trustworthy?
then may i ask
how is the money discussion going on?
haha
pathetic

dah tua tua dah
masih tak tau apa penting apa tak
dah tua tua dah
mulut tu tak tau nak jaga
kalau tak tau nak cakap apa
diam ajelah
nak memandai pulak
siapa ytang gila sgt nak kunci tu?
duit dah nak kosong dah masih ke nak buat benda yg tak perlu?
blah la kau jauh jauh
menyesal aku kata kau baik
kau tu
hanya pandai putar belitkan benda aje
kalau la ni kau tak leh nak percaya kat aku
bila ya?
ingat
senior officers pun boleh dirasuah
jadi
jgn nak memandai la
kesiannye
dah tua tua dah
tapi langsung tak tau beza apa yg penting
aku kesian kat kau

ADOI!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-04T11:36:00.001+08:00

tak ku sangka
keluaq dr toilet terus aku cium lantai
SAKITLAH!!!
apasal blh jatuh huh??

skrang dah lebam dah siku aku..
kena buat art lg
cayalah......

so

2009-05-02T19:13:00.002+08:00

sob
i think i touch a nerve today
ah
lantakla
bknnye aku kisah pun
nak marah marah je la.
who cares right?
gossh
art art art
finals finals finals

aieeeeeeeeeee
go everyone!! do ur best :)

it's time

2009-04-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

c'mon baby
u know it's time
the time has come
for us to dwell in sleepless nights

u know dude
u know babe
exam is just 'round the corner
art final is due next week
and yes
after the exam
the redo group has to redo their art
if they are hardworking enough

man
i am one of them
fallen into the arrogance trap
ended up
losing

but i learnt from my mistakes
now
mistakes no more
make the full use of all the lessons learnt dude

just get up
get down dirty
and strut your stuff

it's not gonna end until you say so
so
why not end it in the grandest way ever?

go for it!!!

frustration kills!!!

2009-04-28T17:23:00.002+08:00

the inability to let go
is eating me up
what the heck am i doing??
i have finals to face
and yet
i am slipping into the land of emotions?!!

get real and wake up!
i need my 15 points
and the heck i am still mourning?

get over and get your feet on the ground
there's no time to lose
CHOOSE!!

i am getting it back
i am who am i, aint it?

memories

2009-04-27T21:04:00.002+08:00

it's all over now
though no tears are shed
it's a white lie if there's no sad feeling

how all eyes were red
and what a sombre mood it was!!

ths saddest scene
was the part where the sister cried
and it will always be kept in the memory box

though
a better world he is in now
and a vow had been made to not cry
but
letting go is hard
and
it's still a mystery
as when it can all be put down

but all is not lost
a better world he is now in isn't it?
:)

death

2009-04-24T07:36:00.003+08:00

the old house now stood alone
no more occupants
what's left is only memories

it was once full of laughter
though it was a place to be once in a year
or perhaps twice
it is regretable
that no efforts were made
and thus creating less visits

the condition was once good
was once healthy
was once very energetic
where cigars were favourites
and in the morning
there's no need to go out and eat
breakfast will always be served
nasi lemak, roti canai, kopi O
was it appreciated?
it was
but there wasn't much action
how regrets pour in
now and then
reflection came
....

kopi O - a favorite
sitting near the backdoor during the night
but the fall made the world came down crumbling
and it wasn't the same
how pathetic were the younger generation
to ignore what was requested

what is life when there is death to face?
what is happiness when sadness is to pop out?
what is....

action
words
was it enough?
perhaps
i'll just say
what is meant to happen
will just happenand
why fret over it?

P.S. i lost my green scissors. has anyone seen it?

what else can i say?

2009-04-23T03:56:00.002+08:00

in class
i am your maid
back at home
i am THE maid

lol
what else can i say?
except that i should call myself a high class maid
as i can't think of any other suitable name for myself

laughable
i am not complaining
mind you
i just want to state the fact
i know i am hardworking
no need to praise me.
\lol

P.S: you can definitely say that i am thick-skinned
but "self-praise" is normal
it is in ethics right?
aristotle's golden mean

earth day

2009-04-21T18:39:00.003+08:00

yup
tomorrow is earth day
we have earth hour
earth day
what else do we need huh?
earth minutes?
earth seconds?

yeah right
you know
i am thinking
what is the need of all these thing
if you only love the earth one day
and then reverts to your same ol' attitude again
i just want to laugh

i pity those who turn off the lights during earth hour
but for the rest 364 days and 23 hours
they let the lights on as if won't cause anything to the earth
yeah
how funny isn't it?
talking about responsibility?
i see there's no worth in you turning off the electricity for just an hour
it's the same ol' excuse
i am not paying for the bill
then why should i care
oh yeah
poor mother earth

then comes another person to say
why recycle?
why reuse
VERY TROUBLESOME LAH!!!!
not even once would they sacrifice their time
it's not really sacrificing
how long do you think you would need to collect the recycable thingy
and throw them in the recycle bin?

these are the words from someone i knew
"i don't want to wash the plastic bag as i don't want to take the hard way"
she'd rather creates more rubbish
than helping to reduce the chopping down on trees
and the usage of fossil fuels
yeah
there are such people in this world
not one but many
i salute those who are willing to change their ways
i want to thank those who although suffered silently
thinking that i am a troublesome fella
but still follow my ways and throw those which can be recycled into their bins

it's mother earth we are talking about
it's our future generation we are discussing aout
Mahatma Gandhi once said'
"we do not inherit this planet from our ancestors,
we borrow it from our children."

does this make any sense to you?
those intelligence living being out there?

let's do our part
and try to undo the wrongs that we had made to motehr earth
before we have to face the consequences of our actions
in the worst way that we can ever imagine.

food

2009-04-21T18:19:00.004+08:00

i love food
but i love my image too
read: body shape
yes
every human being in this world are conscious about how they look
so
it is not a wird thing for me to be super self conscious too
but then again
i am not a fashionista
so
it doesn't really matter anyway

but one thing that matters
food
how i pity those
who always waste their food
in case i touched any nerves here
sorry i would like to say
but still
let me pen my thoughts
for us to reflect on it

it was a lesson learnt from young
never ever waste your food
perhaps it only applies to me and a few others back at home
but it doesn't matter
since we learn of that value everywhere we go
not really
when we saw people throwing food away
that is not exactly the kind of learning we would expect right?

so
why throw your food away
isn't that considered a waste?
yeah
the golden rule is not too eat too full
but there always places for changes
ain't it?

ever seen those who suffer from hunger in darfur?
how thin are they?
ever eat mud cakes?
people in darfur eat that
yes
mud cake as in made from mud, soil
they are so poor that these are the things they eat to fill up their tummy
but we
with plentiful of food to choose from
in the end
we are so picky
we just choose whatever we wanted to eat
and dump the rest
how sad

it is not worth it
why eat if in teh end you never meant to finish them?
the truth is
the world food bank is not really in good condition
and we are still wasting food?
get real
and change for better
we are hypocrites if we just let our bad attitude lead the way

when all is lost

2009-04-20T14:45:00.005+08:00

when all is lost
look into the sky
and you will see a glimmer of light
it will penetrate your eyes
so bright it caused you to cry
and when all tears are used up
you will find yourself
cleared of all the worries
and finding peace again
in the heart of human life

.......

sometimes i wonder
how fargile are we
humans.
with the complicated minds
and the twisted toughts
we roam this world
causing havoc to the nature
and at the same time
troubling our same species

we were taught to love each other
we were taught to forgive and forget
we pride ourselves as the creature with a higher IQ level
and yet
when the time comes
we lose our rationale
and went into a fit of anger
and
whoosh
all is broken
and none is left
are we to regret after this?

sorry
a simple word
yet
with a thousand meanings
and even more feelings
it would need courage to apologize
but even more strength to say "apology accepted"
though that is the case
you might have apologized
it might have been accepted
but there will always be the thin fine line
that once broken again
it will never be mended again

friends
it's not about how much you had contibuted
it's not about how much you had sacrificed
it's not about much much you had poured your heart and soul
it's not about YOU
it's about us.
it involves you and me
it involves tolerance and acceptance
you can never had it your way
why not just mend the rules
and make it fits into everyone's pieces?

what's the point of being proud and arrogant?
what's the point of complaining that you did more than the other?
what's the point of finding faults in others?
what's the point in acting as if you are the victim?
what's the point?

how proud are we as human?
how pathetic are we?
only we know.

iFell

2009-04-20T14:32:00.003+08:00

it's not the new iPod
or whatsoever
so please
don't get over excited
it simply means
I FELL
yup
i just fell
first
i flunk in my physics test
not really flunk
but then again
the result is not good either
so basically
it is still...
FLUNKED!!!
i wonder how am i going to polish my physics?
perhaps by using the Kiwi Brand shoe polisher?
maybe
i'll try that
when i am out of ideas
but basically
it's all about studying right
so
i musn't complain

and then i fell
at my hostel's stairways
i wonder
how clumsy am i to fall?
i guess my mind wasn't on walking
(no, it wasn't actually, no need to say "i guess")
it was having a tour somewhere else..
and "poink"
i was on the floor
thank goodness i didn't lost my teeth
(translated = badly hurt)
goodness me
4 eyes and still lose my footing

then
in front of the library
firstly my pokemon pencil box wanted to commit suicide
luckily
i managed to save it
then
my calculator went insane and it just
"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
and it's on the floor
for goodness sake,
am i a butterfinger or what?

lesson learnt:
don't lose your concentration
if you walk
you walk
if you study
you stduy
if you sleep
you sleep
if you work
you work
if you play
yes
YOU PLAY!!!

不要一心二用
later you will end up in nowhere

cherry blossom festival

2009-04-16T19:10:00.002+08:00

hai
it's today
very tiring eh
gosh
i wore the yukata
i think
i looked weird
lol
nvm
and today is art crit
dr is not in again
man
i am so tired
but homeworkds and studies come first
i'll make myself work it all out.
gambatte kudasai.

and yeah
i just realise
man
those guys are damn stick thin.
lol

perhaps perhaps perhaps

2009-04-15T17:08:00.003+08:00

perhaps
i am just too hot tempered
perhaps
i just love to rush
but then again
but put it so long is you can finish it fast?

i don't understand

letting physics on friday
are you gonna study from saturday to thursday night?
i bet the answer is NO!!
it's gonna be math as the priority
in the end physics will only be studied on thursday night
and then
will it change anything
what about art?
what about mechanics?

perhaps
i am just too self-centered
too hot headed to care
perhaps i am the pathetic one
but from experience
i know what it's gonna be like

saying that physics is easy
art is easy
then why not take physics first?
suddenly it doesn't seems so easy anymore?
give time to what?
studying math?
memorising mechanics?

whatsoever.
if it is so important
you wouldn't have say it is easy in the first place
what you say first is the one that is true to your heart
whatever that goes next
those are just
L
I
E
S

perhaps
i am the lousy one
perhaps
i am the bad one

but experience tells
you are not much different than i am anyway.

yucks

2009-04-12T09:43:00.004+08:00

ok
that bangladeshi man sucks
with his eyes red
he even got the nerve to sit beside me
in the mini bus
how dare he
worst still
he sits 3/4 of it
and yeah
i know
he is just trying to be cheeky
and what?
sit close to me?
he sucks
i have to admit
the way he sit
his hand folded
i know what is on his mind
but thank goodness
he don't have enough nerve
or else
damn it
i will definitely whack him in the bus
let his eyes bleed
so that they can look bloodier than it already is

lesson learnt
if you don't want some yucky guy to sit beside you
just put a bag next to you
and act dumb
please malaysia
get rid of these perverts!!!!!!!!

Embracing Nature

2009-04-11T19:49:00.004+08:00

Forest Research Institute of Malaysia
aka FRIM
yes
i know
i have been complaining
about going there
as a waste of time
bla bla bla
yes
i just can't stop
i wonder
why do i complain
it was exactly where i wanted to go a month ago
and i got the chance
and i complained?

yeah
typical me
never changed
laser-tounged
yeah right
i wanted to go and when i got the chance
instead of appreciating the chance
i complained
yup
what a hypocrite

anyway
i take back what i said
though as we all know
you can't swallow back what you had said
but
yes
just pretend that i can do that

the FRIM trip itself is fun
i learnt so many stuff
akar jangkang?
akar banir? tongkat ali with akar tunjang?
kacip fatimah with akar menjalar?
there are 4 layers of tree?
with the first and uppermost called pucuk/emergen?
second called silara?
third canopy?
fourth called lantai?
i am not sure about silara though
i had forgotten my geography years ago
and yes
how i take easy on everything i got
pitiful

many trees i saw
and i even walked the canopy walk
yup
it is called canopy walk
as it is situated at the second layer of the trees
i can see KL from the 2nd platform
but it was a hazy view
pollution.........

the stream was fun
the water, yup
cooling
and the view in the forest
BREATHTAKING!!!
there is this part
called the "WOW AREA"
the trees there
was
superb!
the leaves didn't touch each other and form a crown-shaped thingy
thus giving it the name "crown area"
if i am not mistaken
honestly
though the jungle trekking is quite tiring
i just realize i am no longer as fit as when i was in BTN
as my heartbeat didn't slow down to normal after 1 or 2 mins
i need to exercise
but
i am just too lazy
how pathetic
anyway
kevin got a pacat on his body
mimi was swarmed by pacatS
yong realised she got pacat after coming back
a senior even got 2 pacats on both her feet
and that senior later slipped and fell
pity her
overall
i enjoyed my trip

well
as what we humans are
complaining non stop
i wish i would learn to keep my mouth shut
and instead appreciate what i got
chances only came knocking once
please
grab hold of it when you can and make full use of it

Lord of the Rings

2009-04-08T19:51:00.005+08:00

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

RUSH HOUR

2009-04-07T18:27:00.003+08:00

honestly
i need more time
suddenly it's all so jam packed
i can't breathe
and i need my space
gosh
how am i going to cope with what?
speaker's corner?
stage design?
cherry blossom emcee?
changing dates and venue?
3 art models?
(yeah, it's included in stage design,
but i just want to emphasise on it)
polish my physics until it's shiny?
making sure i grasp all my formulae
be it core math, further math,
mechanics or even statistics?
get a good grasp on japanese language
where i am actually still in a daze?
exercising to keep fit when i realise that i am getting lazier?
present my art in first crit that the lecturers won't shake their heads?
yes
i know
i had mention arts 3 times including this
but hey
that is the reason why i am here
i am an a-level architecture student
so just give me a chance to emphasise on my job
and yes
i am tired of running around like mad man
and yes
i have my math examination questions E/F/G/H/I?
i dunno which one that i haven't finish
and yes
even the musical practice is cramming in
i just cant' breathe
i need time
to be precise
i need time management
oh gosh
no pain no gain
but if i "pained" too much
won't i faint?
won't you?

a lesson learnt

2009-03-31T16:13:00.001+08:00

Here's how you should have worded your message: "Dear Mr Rehman, My name is Jenny Chow. I am a ........ with ......... etc etc.
But as I don't know the title of the painting, I couldn't help you even ifyou weren't so importunate and impolite. Sorry.

My impolite email:

-----Jenny Chow wrote: -----
To:
From: Jenny Chow
Date: 03/30/2009 11:15PM
Subject: Ibrahim Hussein
I happened to chanced upon your article about the late Dato' Ibrahim Hussein.I was wondering whether you might know the name of this painting by thelate Datoor perhaps you might have any source that could help find the name.This is because as I am doing a project titled "An Ode to Ib".I hope you can reply before Wednesday (1/4/2009)

Yours sincerely,Jenny Chow.

learn from my mistakes
and hey
dont do it again

THANK YOU DATIN SIM

2009-03-31T16:07:00.002+08:00

oh my goodness
my received an email from Datin Sim,
the late wife of Dato Ibrahim Hussein.
and yes
i finally get the name of that painting
which is actually untitled.
Thank you Datin
and my condolences to you and your family.

Kena marah!!!

2009-03-31T16:00:00.006+08:00

"alahai
kerna Iblah i kena marah..."

haha
no
definitely it has nothing to do with the late Dato' Ibrahim Hussein
It is my own mistakes
I did not address people properly
I make grammatical mistakes
I am very rash
and yeah
i learnt a valuable lesson from that
sorry mr rehman from nstp
my mistake
i sincerely apologize for that

IB

2009-03-29T20:13:00.004+08:00

painted in 2002
i need the name
desperately
please.

stories

2009-03-28T04:04:00.002+08:00

on stage
telling stories
giving speeches
standing ovation
my passion

martial art'
sworsds and lance
double sword
wing chun
my love of life

art
design
paint
think
my future

peace
prosperity
happiness
my wish

it aint gonna be hard to achieve them
i believe

silence

2009-03-24T01:02:00.002+08:00

how i wish
that everything lasts forever
no death
no life
no nothing
just plain, void
no sufferings
how pitiful we human beings are!

it was an unexpected news
admitted to hospital?
be brave?
be prepared for the worst?
what else?
there are so many
what?
warnings?

so
apparently
it aches my heart
like a sharp knife
stabbing me
the blood keeps dripping
it might stop now
but
that is just for you to see
for me to feel?
it makes me cry
and it leaves a deep wound in me

am i a cold blooded animal?
was the tears fake?
what am i?
pretending to be sad
when actually i am emotionless?
or i just can't accept the fact
and wanted to hide from it
it wasn't what i hoped for
it was never my intention
but did i cursed myself?
what ill fate has been brought on me?
or actually
i am just falling into pieces?

i do not want to hear it
no such news please
i learn
i know
but i just don't want to accept
how vain
how pathetic
if life were meant to be harsh
why do i have to live?
if i were to suffer
then why do i live?

i am just lost in my own words
failing to see the bigger picture
that life and death are just journeys that we have to walk through
sadness come and go
but can i let go?
i don't
i know i have to
but
i need more time
wishes haven't been fulfilled
it is not just empty promises
i need to show
i need it
why?
why NOW?
why tell me when i needed it the least?
why?!

it's a circle that keeps on going round and round
and i am just a player
just an actress
following orders
and watching one by one fall
and wishing i can help
why?

...
silence now
i keep what i get
though i suffer
though i am hurt
though i wish
i take what is given
and i pray that
all well ends well.

....

(all i need is time, but it can never mend a broken heart,
the scar is left there. for now and for always)

i pray. Namo amitabha.

oops

2009-03-23T14:33:00.000+08:00

my entry disappear.
woops

aduhai.. patriotiknye...

2009-03-21T10:55:00.001+08:00

hujan emas di negeri orang
hujan batu di negeri sendiri
lebih baik di negeri sendiri

never late than a SECOND

2009-03-20T21:11:00.003+08:00

ok
i have just came back from a camp
KEM BINA NEGARA TANJUNG RHU
somewhere in sepang
and on the way there
i realised how "ulu" that place is
and yet
there are people living there?
ok
it doesn't mean anything
just that the road to the camp
is just way too
erm
"old" i guess

it was a one and a half (about 2 hrs) journey
from akasia to there
i was complaining
we all were
complaints and all
"why do i have to go to such place?
oh my goodness.. my holiday is wasted!
gosh, we are gonna be tortured....."
and etc..

i am going to continue in bahasa malaysia
ye la tu
mcm la diri tu pandai sgt nak ckp bm
takpelah
kalau tak seberapa betul pun
hang pa takkan bising kan?
tiba-tiba balik dr kem
terasa pula diri tu patriotik sgt
kononnye la tu
mcm nak mengampu tapi tak tau tengah mengampu sape
okla
membebel tak tentu pasal
tak masuk langsung pun benda yg penting
nak tau name fasi sye?
hehe
bagitau dah jgn korang tak percaya tau

saat gerangannya
takkan lambat orangnya
kalau lambat sejam pun masih dikira sesaat
ketawa tak kering gusilah dgn lawak jenakanya
tak ku sangka
akan rindu kat dia
memangla
ku mengaku
benci sgt nak pi btn nie
kacau aje
membazir pulak masa aku
tapi yg sebenarnye
tak membazir langsung
dpt kawan baru
dpt pengetahuan baru
kenal jugak akhirnya perlembagaan negara kita

ha
hari tu gak kitorang buat abscaling
aku tak tau mcm mana nak eja
kali pertama aku dengar
hat tu la yg kitorang panjat tinggi2 dan lepas tu turun
bukan bungee jumping la dik oi..
adala pakai gear gear keselamatannya
lepas tu turun
pakai tendang dinding tu untuk turun
hampir2 ada orang jatuh krn dia terus lepas dan tak control
nasib baik ada kak liza kat bawah
kalo tak
ntah ape nak jadi dah..
hati mcm nak lompat keluaq je masa tu.
suria pulak takut nak turun
dia yg kena turun dulu tapi dia dpt cold feet
so cheryl yg ganti
fuiyo
punya prola cheryl tu
lepas fong fong pulak yg turun
akhirnya turun gak suria
ktorang semuanya sorak kat dia kat bwh
yahoo
dia turun gak
dengar kate goh, basil, long ge, henry, kevin & sher min yg pujuk dia turun
bagusla tu
berjaya gak dia tu
diorang turun 2 kali
sher min hampir2 nak langgar orang kat sebelah dia tu
over excited
basil turun pakai lepas tangan aje
rugi aku x nampak
adoi
apa yg aku blh kata
siok betoi aktiviti tu
tapi sebelum tu
masa aku nak turun
aku takut kejap
lepas tu barulah aku tutun
hahahaha
penakut gak aku rupanya

bab kembara lgla best
nak tau ape yg kitorang buat?
masuk hutan
bukan hutan la., belukar!!
belukar?
sebenarnya ku pun tak tau ape yg kita panggil tempat tu
tak kisahla
yg pasti ada masuk air la
niela tula
smp basah kasut & seluar aku
berbau lumpur lg la tu
ewwww
nak tau lagi?
kakiku masuk lubang
entah ape yg dipikiqkan ku
tau tau aje dah masuk lubang
nampak yomg lompat lalu
nak jugak jadi heroin
mungkin aku mata sepet
akibatnya landing tak seberapa baik
terus kaki kiriku masuk lubang
terjelopok masuk terus
OWWW
sakit tak terkata
terseliuh kakiku
nasib baik yong yong, goh, basil & farah ade
thanks korang yg bantu aku
nak gah lagi
aku jalan macam takde ape-ape
memangla
habis terus kembara kat hutan tu
ada pula yg terakhir iaitu yg pak taib kate
"ular menyusur akar, takkan hilang bisanye"
merangkak di bwh dawai bg korang-korang yg tak berapa paham
dawai koyot ke yg orang panggil tu?
i pun tak seberapa pasti nama benda tu
lantakla
eh... aku dah fast forward dah
telupa pulak nak mention nama
mimi
muni
pachy
shahrol
iqbal
din
ezzad
dan semua yg membantu
yg bg kitorang jln dulu
sugguh gentleman korang
eh
asraf
akmal
arief
wani
aku lupa nak sebut nama korang
sori
korang pun banyak bantu gak
bribu ribu ampun..
hahahaha
chewah chewah
lagaknye mcm sultan pulak tu
kena guna ampun..
hahah
tak kisahla
asalkan siok cukup
mlm tu aku jln mcm biasa
yela
kaki tu ada terseliuh tapi entah kenapa
aku masih blh jln mcm biasa
smp sher min pun binggung
ahhahha
mlm tu aku taruh minyak
minyak 'che chau iu'
hokkien la tu
minyak daun ubat kot name dia dlm BM
lepas tu
tidoqla aku
.....

tau tak
masa aku bangun pd keesokan hari
sakit betoi kaki aku
ingatkan dah tak leh nak lari dah
pagi tu kena lari 2km
nak sangat aku lari
tapi mula2 aku pakai slipar
cuba jog jog kejap
dah mcm sedih coz tak leh lari sgt
tapi akhirnya tukaq fikiran
pakai la aku kasut sukan yg separuh kering dan stoking yg basah2 gak
smp aje kat padang perhimpunan aku tanya pak taib
kalau kaki terseliuh blh tak tak lari
dia kate "ala, sikit aje, blh lari punyala!"
terus aku kate, "ok, tq"
dah dpt kebenaran
walaupun lepas tu dia cakep
"sape sape yang kaki terseliuh
kaki patah
sakit kaki
blhlah keluar dan duduk kat blkng"
aku buat2 tak kisah
thank u yong krn mengambil berat
hahah
aku pun ikut diorang warm up dan lepas tu
LARILAH!!!!!
yes
mula mula banyak orang kat depan aku
pecut bkn main lagila diorang tu
aku nampak neb lari mcm kilat
banyak lagilah orang
ada kevin la
henry la
tapi yg pelik
aku x nampak pun basil
mana tau smp smp aje dia dah ada kat sana
haha
pelik kan?
kot kot mataku x tengok jln
haha
mula2 ku lari ngan wani
lepas tu aku lari sorang sorang
lari ajela
non stop
akhirnya tiba gak aku di penamat
woohoo
ok
bagi aku can eksyen jap
tau tak korang masa ku 13 minit 43 SAAT??
hahaha
first lady dutch lady
itu kata arief
pantas gak dia lari
smp aje aku nampak banyak budak lelaki class aku
fuiyo
dengar dengar kalo tak silap shahrol smp dulu
tak taula
tapi dia memang laju
pecut
tapi tak kisahla kan
akhirnya semua smp gak
kesian
hanya sorang yg fail
harap harap dia jaga sikit badan tu
diet diet
ckp ckp aje
aku pun bukannya hebat sgt kan?
mulalah nak menceloteh tu
muka tembok betoi..
XD

hari ke-4
hari terakhir utk LDK
sedih gak
krn Pak Saat tu
baik punya orangnya
sangat sangat la baik
kelakar lagi tu
sedih masa dia kate bye bye
tapi dpt gak no talipon n email dia
yg paling pelik
aku n long ge pi dptkan autograf dia
memang dia tu baik sgt
"terima kasih daun keladi
ada hari kito jumpa lagi"
lepas tu mlm terakhir LDK
kitorang nyanyi lagu patriotik
punyala seronok
kitorang nyanyi lagu "Perajurit Tanah Air"
aku tau lagu tu
masa kecik kecik dulu asyik nyanyi ngan abang aku
masa tunggu nak tengok power rangers
ada kan RTM main lagu2 patriotik
seronok aku nyanyi ngan abang aku
hahaha
tapi tengok balik
aku rasa aku dah lupa ape yang aku belajar
kalo masa2 dulu
bukan main pandai lg aku kenal bendera2 negeri
tau nak nyanyi lagu patriotik
tau ibu negeri
skrang
aku nie
dah jadi pelupa
dah ignorant
alahai
apela nak jadi
malu gak nak kate yg aku tinggal kat malaysia krn aku nie
mcm apa pun tak tau
kesian kan org mcm nie?
tapi yg pasti
LDK tu memang siok
bab terakhir tu kak sherry yg ambik alih
kitorang tak leh ckp dan kena guna bahasa isyarat aje
tak leh komuikasi ngan kumpulan lain
tak leh ckp langsung
tau tau aje
shahrol kena oleh ASP
adoi
kenala ikat tangan tu
chua pulak yg pegi cari batu
nak berjaya dah
mahen kena tangkap krn dia cakap
adoi
tinggal chua sorang
lepas tu dah habis semua
yogenes pegi tebus balik shahrol dan mahen
chua pergi dengar taklimat
fuh
akhirnya yg laki laki buat tugu kat atas pentas
yg perempuan kat bwh pentas berpegangan tangan
sama2 la kito nyanyi lagu "tanggal 31'
bukan main patriotiknya
fulamak
tak kusangka
yg pasti
apa2 yg bljr kat LDK
semuanya berguna kan?
...

hari terakhir.
ujian OMR.
60 soalan.
okla tu
mesti blh pass punya kitorang
kena fokus
itu yg pak saat ckp
lepas tu
majlis penutup
mahen pi ucap
kong
lepas tu pachy penghulunita kitorang
dan akhirnya irsyadee
PENGHULU kita
pandai dia berucap
sebenarnya semua pun pandai
lepas tu ajk semua dilucutkan jwtan
ye
aku pun kena gak
krn aku nie ajk dewan ceramah
yg jadi pengerusi utk ceramah ke-3
hahahah
akhirnya
dpt hak kitorang sijil kita
sedapla nasi tengah hari
tak tau tu nasi apa\yg pasti bukan nasi putih
nyam
sedapnya
...
akhirnya
balikla kitorang ke kolej akasia, cemara dan cendana
......

(shahrol, suria, syamilah, mahen, ming, yogenes, 'afifah, long ge dan aku
kitela kumpulan 6)

Mind Your Language

2009-03-16T09:50:00.002+08:00

"I am Brown."
"No you are not
we are brown.
you are WHITE!!"

comedians they say
play a very essential part in our life
oh
how true that saying is

yeap
mind your language
watched it when i was in standard 2 if i am not mistaken
what a damn funny sitcom
i wonder if you guys knew about it
but from the look of your face
i doubt so

anyway
if you get the urge to watch soething funny
why not try this
i bet you are going to laugh your head off
hahahaa

Bee Gees.

2009-03-14T07:23:00.002+08:00

Oh my goodness
they rocks.. the gibbs bros
i just love them!!!
oldies??
they are the best
talking 'bout the talents now
yeah they are good
but then again
who sing songs with such good meanings
yeah
perhaps i am being biased
but then again
looking at the new gen of singers
sorry dudes
you are still a long way to go.....
many your songs are hits
but it's for now..
can they be the evergreen songs?

i am of the olden years..
cheers

silent tears

2009-03-13T13:32:00.002+08:00

teary eyed
sunny days
birds chirping
stars shining
it's holidays

and yet
i'm stuck
crap

dislike it
but
sigh
i can't change
whatever

suddenly so moody
and trying to be funny
it's not working
and damn it
i am so pissed off
get out of my sight

darn man.........................................

have a little bit of faith.

2009-03-13T13:25:00.001+08:00

In life there are always undesirable things.

Perhaps a person who feels things are not going as well as they could will feel better if they change their point of view and see things from another perspective.

Perhaps this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone.
Perhaps everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.

Life is the continual demonstration of the power of thinking positive and having faith.

Believe in yourself.

Never lose faith.

Congratulations

2009-03-13T12:55:00.003+08:00

it's D-day again
woohoo
so many top scorers this year
20As?
16As?
100As?

yeah right
congratulations then

but here comes the knock out
it's not like i think you are an idiot
and it is actually no offence
but then again
it might hurt in some way
i might be thought as sour grape
or whatsoever it is
but there is something that i need to say
and i must make my stand
very very clearly
forgive me for my harsh words

yes
you are the top scorer in malaysia
and yes
you are the best
but
wait a minute are you
are you so damn sure
that what you get
is the measure of your incredible abilities
??
yes
you are good
i admit
i am not as good as you
but looking at the current education system
do you think getting so many As shows that you are good?
it makes me wonder
so many so-called good apples
but in between
how many are the really really useful ones??
so many As to collect
and so many As to get
but in the end
what is your contribution?

am i pathetic
am i jealous?
no i am not
yes
i get straight as too
but that doesn't make me feel any better
am i proud of my achievement?
all i can say is that
whatever the benchmark that is set by my predecessors
it's not i have been searching for

how results have been tagging along our life
making us miserable
i pity those who love As so much
but never really get their hands into jobs
like cleaning the house and doing those trivial matters
i pity you for even though you have good results and good achievements
you do not know what your responsibilities are
i pity you
for in the end of everything
all you care is about yousellf and nothing else
i pity those fools

....

exams?
good results?
is this the benchmark?
are you satisfied?
you are nothing but a self-centred bigot
you live to enjoy while at the same time seeing others suffer
you are pathetic as even though you are a good student
there is no sense of responsibility in you

i pity
and yet
if i am the only one pitying you while teh others are congratulating
all i can say is
well
i have different definition of success
and all i can say is
you and me
are two totally opposite beings.

Congrats again..
but i think i will dwell in my own world.
my choice.

the hell with it

2009-03-12T18:36:00.002+08:00

yes
i had to admit
i damn hate vulgar words
but yet
i feel like scolding people with them
yes i do

those words
sucks
but then again
i am not going to compromise with my stand
and use those words
so
might as well forget them

be civilised
shut up

go go go

2009-03-12T18:33:00.002+08:00

yes
let's just go
and make ourselves done
woohoo.
buck up and deliver dudes.

of sunshine... and little mermaid??

2009-03-12T18:15:00.004+08:00

it's the most dreaded thing again
ouch
what else can i expect
it's the same old routine
critiques critiques
and yes
critiques

it doesn't matter whatever project it is
it's like
huh??
i flunk at all??
what?
i am not good enough?
do i believe in myself at the very beginning?
do i have faith?
yeah we all have
super bombastic all those words that are hit on me
ouch
it pains
does it?
i don't think so
you will never see me care
so
am i learning?
or i just treat it as something like
what?
because it's not gonna be fun anymore
sorry for the language
but i don't feel like using 100% proper english
let's just say
yeah
damn it
i just hate to act nice

ouch
the critique
it amkes me wonder
what the heck am i darn good at?
drawing?
painting?
or just plain making a fool of myself?
how did i ended up as an architect
when
..
old stories
not worth mentioning them here
lol

but here i am
like it or not
i have to walk the path that i had chosen
and make the full use of it
and yes
i am so not gonna let myself down
for falling down from grace
though i am not as graceful as a swan
yet
falling down from the highest peak in my life
suffered from my own mistakes
u bet it's not gonna happen to me
yeah

what is done is done
though it is not meant to be
although i do feel the pain
yes i do
and sometimes i wonder if i would make a good architect
well
why not just look forward
and make the best out of it
i am not someone without vision
and yes
though i am still blur
before i leave
i will redeem myself
and
make fulfill what i am meant to do

falling down hard is a norm
searching for oneself
might just take an eternity
now i know that i am such a lazy bum
am i going to wait for eternity before i really change?

then i have only one word for myself
loser

....
(chill out dude, i am so not a loser, and neither are you)

open up

2009-03-12T11:02:00.005+08:00

perhaps
it's time i end my obnoxious ways
no more bragging and no more showing off
no more self centred and no more selfishness
no more getting mad and no more getting ejalous
no more stupid fantasying about unknown things
and no more
no more
complaints that are getting me nowhere

how life has change
how i am such a stubborn goat
no is it a mule or whatsoever?
as stubborn as a donkey actually
well
hot headed
hot tempered
(sorry dudes, apart from those "hot", i am not hot in any other field, lol)

one is never perfect
and not everyone will like us
oh
that's a very clear fact
learn it from my friend
how true
and yet
i strive to be perfect
and on the way to the highest tower
i hurt so many feelings
i become so indulged in my own passion
i was so sure of my stand that i refused to budge from it

how i wish i understand better
and then i would have appreciate more
while i am reflecting about my pasts and wrongdoings
how about the amny readers out there
who happens to pop into my blog and see my melancholic writings?

how have we all change
and is it for good and for bad?
what has happened to all of us?
and what have we done in the past that shape us now?
there are times in life
that we can't get what we want
and there are times in life that we have to rely on people to get things right

we will always be complaining
about how unfair life is
why am i stupid while he is clever?
why am i ugly while she is pretty?
why am i so...
it is a never ending W-H-Y question
and it is the kind of question that we ask
when we feel like are are losers
......

then there comes the time
when we hate our friends so much
either for their mistakes
or we are just plain narrow-minded
and are so bossy that we only allow our own ways and not otheres
how hatred stem from misunderstandings
and how we frefused to look deeper into the problem
find teh roots
and try to mend it?
broken glass can be mended
but broken heart?
broken friendship?
you will never find any other to replace what you had lost

there's a reason why we are here
and there are reasons why we are emant to be friends
i know you not because you suddenly pop out in my life
but it's because of all the things that we did in our past life
it is fate that brought all of us together
there are times in life that the epople that you meet
is only once in your entire lifetime
you met them
and they just fade away
you saw them
and that's it
no more.
and yet
you complain
we complain actually
and how we were so snobbish
and so sure about ourselves
that we refused to let go and open up
in the end
it is all void
....

how sad!!!!!

we met for reasons
and from that we can diverge it into many branches
either we choose to
love
hate
appreciate
ignore
in the end
there will always be a tinge of regret for our own action.

are you so sure that all this while you had been right and he or she had been wrong?
am i sure?
i am so not sure.

i had done heaps of mistakes on friendships
yet
life has been smiling on me
that chances are given
and my friends are still around me
how strong and yet
it might just crumble
if i let my own selfishness gets in the way

what about
Y
O
U >>>>

appreciate what you have now, open up and let go.
sometiems in life
why don't you take off your own shoes
and instead
wear others'?
perhaps then
you will see a clearer picture
and then
you will understand.

....

i understand now
and though i do not approve of your action
and deep down in my heart hatred still lies
but i vow to change
for i appreciate your friendship
and most of all
love is more needed than hatred in this world

love your enemies like how you love your friends
it is the greatest love of all
and if you can do that
......
may God bless us
let's forgive and forget
and forge a new friendship again.

bless you. namo amitabha.

changing ways.mending hearts.healing life.

2009-03-10T14:52:00.003+08:00

perhaps it's time
that we all reflect
our pasts and wrongdoings
and make something good out of it

it's been a while
since we appreciate
what our forefathers did for us
united in fighting for independance
making our country one of the most peaceful in the world

but now
what had happened to us?
where is the sense of unity that bonds us?
where is the time where children of all races play together?
where is...

we have politicians busy politicking nonsense
trying to bridge the gap they say
but looking back
all i can see
is that the gap is getting bigger
and it is only all words and no works
will studying whatever ethics and whatsoever moral
brings us closer to one another?
will we sit around and talk like brothers and sisters again?
will we?
when will that be?

why
do we have to quarrel about unnecessary matters?
math and science in english?
what do they mean when they say it is like belittling one's mother tongue?
you don't study them in english during secondary years.
fine
but when you go into unis
will they still be taught in Chinese, Tamil or Bahasa Malaysia?
yes.
i mean it.
Bahasa Malaysia
Not Bahasa Melayu
it belongs to all races in Malaysia
as we are all Bangsa Malaysia

but the sad thing is
why do the higher powers
have to make things so complicated
practising policies that goes against the Perlembagaan Malaysia
making races suffer because of their policies?
where is your promises?

be it government or opposition
please get your priorities right
to those power-usurpers
please stop whatever dirty tactics you are using
you are killing the nation
that our forefathers worked so hard to build

a promise said is a promise done.
so be it.

out of the blue and into the fire

2009-03-10T14:36:00.003+08:00

math oh math
why do i make stupid mistakes
it's like
hahahahha

well anyway
i can't change the past
but i can certainly make amendments to the future
what i did wrong now
serves as reminders for me in the future
if i got them correct now
perhaps
i won't pay much attention to them

hahah
well
that is actually a way of soothing my aching heart
ok
what the heck with the aching heart thingy??
you think your heart is broken is it?
nah
just wanted to be emotional
and sounds melancholic
hohohohoho
pathetic

the truth is
no silly mistakes if it can be help
once and for all
get it straight and get it right
don't be so pathetic and try to make something out of nothing
it might be just out of the blue and into the fire
and in the end
it squashed all your dreams and hopes

no matter what happens
life goes on
stop trying to act clever
and stop trying to be bossy
i don't think think i need those negative attitude in me
though i am not perfect
but
still
i am trying to be as perfect as i can be
oh my goodness
what a damn perfectionist..

oh. 19 ady?

2009-03-10T14:08:00.003+08:00

wow
so
two of my classmates
actually not 2
there are a few i guess
but the heck of me
all i really do pay attention to is two..
sorry dudes
for those whom i don't really know
it you are already past 18 and into 19.
welcome to the club
haha
though i am not 19 yet
but then again
i will hit 19 soon
so let me fast forward to the future
hahaha

the first one. oh gosh
big bro who spent his big day with his "gal"
oh yeah
cool isn't it?
and we are like thomas edison
not really like
is we ARE thomas edison
shining around
oh my goodness
but we are not really that bright
'cause after that dinner at sakae
damn man, i ate a few only
(mood got distracted by my stupid mistakes in math test
well
i manage to get over that.. after a few days
damn that stupid moody thing cost me a fortune
ended up spending money on food
i eat when i am in a bad mood
hey, back to the main topic.....)

....
they walk together hand in hand
oh my
so sweet
well
love is in the air isn't it??
we went to shop around
for present for beloved sis yong yong
ah
and we found one damn sexy dress
hahahah
quite formal
but...
hey..
NICE
that's what it is all about
cool
it's better to buy something taht she won't buy than something that she wants
that's the lesson i learnt
(thanks kevin bro, but i wonder when is your turn to be sweet??
hopefully it will be soon enough :P)

big bro's birthday was planned ahead
and he knew that already
well
he initiated it
very restless actually
i wonder why
lol
but sis yong yong
it was a total unexpected for her
as we celebrate it a day earlier
and acted as if we just want to ahve a bite in McDonald's
well
the lunch set is very tempting anyway
hhahahaha
and by teh way
i just realised
i am a damn great liar
cool dude

the blackforest cake is nice
but
the best part was when we gave her her present
the look of her face
hahaha
very shocked
the dress was put in a box
a *** box to be exact
so it's no wonder that what is inside the present might be a little
well
whatever it might be..
nice and cool

so
2 is 19
considered old or mature??
not really a problem actually
as long as you stay young
it's gonna be a whole heck of fun in life
no worries dude

......

it won't be long before my turn comes..
hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
[ hey, next year i'll be in England already
wow, cool man :) ]

wars and wars

2009-03-04T16:59:00.003+08:00

well
so
mr siva just can't stop
he just has to do it his way
not being independant
that's what he is
and hey you
who just can't stop opposing
do you know what time it is now?
it is economic recession time
and what are they doing?
those of the higher powers?
fooling around with the standing order
fooling around with the sultan's order
fooling around in the time of hardship

when the world is in a rumble
with wars everywhere
and people got killed and ambushed for no apparent reasons
and worse
loads of people losing their precious jobs
the environment is in a dying state
what are we malaysians doing?

N
O
T
H
I
N
G

that's right
just like what i say
nothing
nope
nothing at all
how pathetic

and the powers to be
are always fighting over powers

just like how the old saying goes
power blinds people
and once you are blinded
you can't see which is right and which is wrong
thus ending up with the wrong decision all the time

oh my goodness
just like what the economy experts say
'it's anout the economy, stupid"
stop bickering and get teh job done

and you
yes you
no one else but you
please get your house in order
and stop trying to give false promsies or even trying to be the big boss
it's not all about you
i's about all

get the damn hell out of my sight
what a sore eye.

of headache and heartache

2009-03-04T16:35:00.003+08:00

ouch
people had been complaining lately
oh my goodness
i am darn lack of sleep
yeah right
so lack of sleep indeed
not enough time to work out
lack of time
too much pressure exerted on oneself
too much tension
really is suffering isn't it?

so
after the headache had been cured by paracetamols and etc
heartache will drop by and say
"HELLO MY DEARS!"
ah... great
as if...
well
not everyone suffer from that to be honest
only those who had damn huge headache the night before that night
say, i say MIGHT
it's not like everyone will suffer you know
God bless

well
there are those who studied all day long
but never taste the sense of excitement in life
too buried in books
oh
so pathetic
well
life is never all about books
nor it's about good results
though
yeah
everyone wants to get good results
hey
i am definitely one of them
but then again
is this all we want from life?
that all is good and nothing bad?
haha

well
i am going to take it this way
whatever happens
just let it be
everything that happens has its own reason and why
take a look at the brighter side
and you might notice
that actually
it is a green patch of grass out there too

cheers for life.
cheers for yourself.
headache and heartache?
just accept teh fact and be better.
no worries dude.

talking about green green grass, i wish i am now in new zealand..
oh.. how lovely... hahahahahhahahahha

sleepy head

2009-03-03T19:51:00.004+08:00

gosh
i am so deprived of sleep
hey
am i ?
i don't think so
i think i had too much of sleep
that i ended up being as sleepy as ever
oh my goodness
what the heck am i thinking of?

promises are made
but most of them undone
plans are made
but most of them
just go down the drain
too much self confidence
causing me to slack off
what the heck am i doing?

complaining that 24 hours a day is not enough?
complaining that people get better results than mine?
complaining that i had not enough timeto finish my homework?
complaining....

gosh?
we human are enver satisfied
alwyas complaining and putting blames on others
when the truth is
it is us to be blamed
slacking at the wrong time wrong place and
yeah
for the damn wrong reason too
oh

why do other people can finish their jobs while we can't
why?
pose the question to myself
and i expect
mute
all mute
no answers
for the problem lies within me
the changes that i need to made
are still
on the way.

how many time do i have?
how many time must i fall so that ic an regain my consciousness?
how many time must i fail until i will wake up from my fantasy and get the job done?
how many time must i make empty promises?

oh my goodness
even as i am writing
i realised
that i am only an empty can
making so much noise
but deep inside
there is nothing.
nought.
void.
null.

simple.easy

2009-02-28T09:25:00.003+08:00

it's an easy word to say
there are only two syllable
"thank you"
isn't it easy?
easier than ABC
since you need to pronounce A-B-C

yet
however easy it might be
not many people would say it out
sometimes
when the occassion rises
peopel just act as if nothing has happen
and they just let the word pass by
and seldom do they speak it out
how sad

a simple thank you
is a way of showing gratitude
it's a way of showing your appreciation
after all what people had done for you
but sometimes
people just ignore it
and act as if it is that person job
and there is no need to say thank you
isn't it?

though it might be his or hers job
still
just saying one simple thank you can brighten the day
do we have to be so stingy
and not even utter that phrase?
how sad

when you look back
ever wonder how many tiems you could have say thank you but you don't?
how many tiems youc an brighten one's life but instead you chose to be selfish
a simple "thank you" is all i need
but
again
perhaps in this materialistic world
only money matters...

(-.-lll)

chain mails

2009-02-20T18:32:00.003+08:00

i hate chain mails
what?
the mails that say
if don't send to who
whatever bad things will befallen on you
whatsoever the thing is
or whatever good thing
but if you don't send
you will get bad things in return
oh
how pathetic
or worst
religion is even used in these kind of chain mails
all i wanted to say/
stop these nonsense
cut it out

self searching

2009-02-20T17:58:00.004+08:00

my model got rejected
again
sigh
what is it all about?
am i that stupid to not know what is needed?
am i that chicken to explore myself more?
what am i doing?
confining myself to attaining nirvana
and forgot about the true essence of living?
am i so blinded by the sight of leaving the wheel of life
that i am unable to think beyond it?
am i so arrogant
that i always wanted to be different
but in the end i have to do double the job?
am i so scared of losing out
that i always have to force myself to work hard
but in the end fell into my own trap?

what is self glory?
what is different?
what is being the best of the ebst?
waht is me?
who am i?
am i pathetic and arrogant?
am i bossy and ignorant?
am i selfish and sarcastic?
am i ?
YES, I AM
...

how am i going to define myself?
i do things hoping for nothing in return
but there's the monster inside me struggling to come out
and change me into a totally different person
split personality?
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

i am never good enough
always strggling to break free from what i am doing
always trying to prove myself
but in the process hating myself as well
as i can see many negative things in myself
that it has caused me to stop complaining and whining about others
though sometimes
i just can't keep my big mouth shut
and complains about people
no one is perfect
yet
in the quest for miss perfectionist
i tend to forget where i am
and in the end
found myself disillusioned

searching for the real me
trying hard to leave the negative me
trying hard to control myself
but it seems like i am unable
to stop myself
in choosing between what's good and what's not
how sad

maybe
in the process of self searching
i ended up losing myself
to all the things that i wanted to be or do
i tend to fall into my own trap
and forgot that good results come from hard work
and not imagination only.

i try so hard
that i started to lose out
yet the believe in my religion hold me back on the ground
and cleanse away all those negative thoughts that accumulates in me
though i am still trying to control my thoughts
it's no longer that hard compared to before
and i learn from it
balancing both religion and life
that is what defines me

too extreme in seraching for enlightenment
too extreme in searching for perfection
to extreme in seraching for good results
i lost myself in the sea of arrogance
now i have resurface
and come all over anew
i realise
that though i ams till the old self
my thought have changed
be true to myself

and always remember

...

hard work pays
iamgination delights
extreme hard work makes life dull
and extreme imagination.... will bring me no where.

:)

scandals everywhere

2009-02-17T13:21:00.003+08:00

what?
oh
nude pictures are circulating in the net again
this time
and MB's?
wow
it seems that we malaysians have gone into the "ham sap" mode
that we just love to look at people's nude pictures
to be more specifies
it is actually Yang Berhormats' nude pics

not getting enough of Doctor's
now came another Tourist's
ouch
what has happened to our society?

too much modernisation indeed
from a once peaceful Asian country
worst
now we are facing a downhill slide
not enough with people leapfrog from here to there
(they are really good jumpers
of course they are
it's their mentors who always ask MB to leapfrog
but instead of getting what they want
their plan backfires, hahaha)

politicians
perhaps they get the idea of creating scandals from the western countires?
so many controversies
so many nudity
we once pride ourselves
as a nation who cares
as a multiracial country
as a peaceful country

but hey
after the political tsunami
everyone starts to change tactics
mud slinging
leap froging
everything just surface out of nowhere

be it the black or white
when it's time to let go
just do it
be a gentleman
and do your part
if you are so power crazy
please be civilized
and do it through the democratic way
but then
i can still see a few barbarians around
all empty promises
all sweet talks
and nothing else

how pathethic
if policies can be changed so easily
i wonder
what is going to happen to the country that we once are proud about?

simple act of kindness

2009-02-17T12:57:00.003+08:00

it was a simple act of kindness
to my stomach actually
i was so upset with my math
i am not sure what am i doing
the questionS are just too tricky

no
it's not actually
it's just me
having a hard time
trying to grip those formulae and whatsoever

so
insanity comes
and the brain goes a little bit out of the way
best way to de-stress?
eat

yeah
i had my lunch
then ice-cream
it's not the damn expensive one
just a cheap one
which i took about 5 minutes to choose
why?
was trying to save money dude

but still
just one small ice-cream
is enough raise my level of happiness again
oh
how wonderful
am i being too emotional?
nope
i don't think so
but even if it is
what does it matter to you anyway/
haha
don't get offended

well
sometimes in our life
when we come across things that we don't like
be it people who always cause nuisance
or people who shirk away from their jobs
or even people who broke their promises for the umpteenth time
or people who only cares for themselves
or those who only want to enjoy without having to spend any effort
well
let just look at it from the bright side

those who cause nuisance
they give us a chance to be patient
those who shirk away from their jobs
actually give us chances to polish our skills
those who broke their promises
we learn to remind ourselves to keep our promises
those who only want to enjoy
we can learn how to enjoy life from them too

whatever the things that we encounter in life
bad things arise
so do the good ones
don't get mad just because you can't have it your way
there's a silver lining in everything we do
as long as
we are willing to open our eyes
and start noticing things

why torture oneself with unnecessary worries
life goes on
whether you like it or not
simple act of kindness
to their enemies
your loved ones
the stranger who is homeless
and justw hoever you think might need help
it will help to brighten up your day

take a step closer to nature
and listen to their "voices"
enjoy a cheap ice-cream
and you can feel the rush of happy feelings
get out of the house
and embrace the nature with sports
and you will get teh rush of adrenaline
break away from your usual routine
and that will definitely make life more interesting

stop the whining.
live and let live

narrow minded

2009-02-15T07:42:00.003+08:00

when the tough gets going
the going gets tough
when trobles gome
either you face it
or you hide from it
but can you hide forever/

sometimes
i wish i am more open minded
i pride myself as a Buddhist
but my action shows otherwise
never a compassionate person
always bearing grudge
always wanted to criticize people
always the same old sharp tongue fellow

why do i have to sow hatred in my heart
why do i have to bve so pathetic
why can't i just accept
and then continue living
it's not like i will face any big troubles
all the troubles that i have is my inner demon

do i have to be narrow minded while others are so leniet
do i have to be so pathetic that i just have winning in my head
do i have to be such a sleepy head and sleeps all the time
do I?
i wonder

no one is perfect
but by saying that phrase
am i giving myself excuses
to not change myself
what a lame excuse

i found myself wondering
that am i being too critical of myself
to be honest
no
i found this part cool
as at least i am finding out my own faults
and trying to overcome them

it's a challenge
to myself
right all the wrongs
and get your job done

(what about you then?)

Chinese New Year

2009-02-15T06:56:00.003+08:00

i flunk once
in making decision
actually
it's not once
it's like i always flunked
nah
not always too
it's ocassionally
well
who never make the wrong decision
in their whole entire life?

so
i didn't go to the first CNY celebration
because none of my classmates are going
with that
i mean the chinese fellows
everyone got "cold feet" in the end i guess
i wonder why did they get cold feet?
it's a wrong phrase actually
it's not like we are going to performance
it's only to go there and enjoy ourselves
but perhaps the archis students got too absorbed with books
and of course, never ever forget those M-O-D-E-L-S
how sad and pathetic
(since all of us didn't go, i think it's time to get back the RM5
now it's recession time, every sen counts,
though now all is rounded up or down, please, be responsible)

so
that's why i chose not to go
because nobody is going?
yeah right
please
what a lame excuse
it's not really like i don't have any friends other than them
so
basically it's all the weakness in making decision of mine
but still
it does work out some way in the end for the decision that i made
at least i need not have to rush back from a far place
but still
it's still.....

so
i made up my mind to go to the next CNY celebration
not really a big scale one
but not small either
it's was really fun
met someone that shares the same interest as me
to go politicking and forum-ing
oh yeah
this proves that whatever decison that we made
it will has its own good and bad results
and as long as we believe in it positively
it's all going to turn out well in the end
no worries, pals.

the celebration brings back the childhood me
with the clown clowning around
the magician showing off his stuff
the dandelion group singing great songs
teh group of people performing songs with sign language
the kids and teens singing and dancing
in the end
i found myself singing along with all those songs that i knew
those are songs from my childhood days
do you guys still remember?
how much has you got yourself immersed in
ghost stories
making models
studying and revising
shopping
chatting
onlinin-ing
that you think what i am doing now is just being emotional?
well
think twice
and think again
how much you had chosen to let go
when you decided that such celebration is a waste of time
and you'd rather fooling around with ghost

it's a time when you at home
the time when you can go around and have fun
to be touched by the sign language performance
to laugh as the clown shows off his antics
to stare at awe, wondering how the magician do his tricks
to enjoy the sweet voice of the singing groups
what is wrong in joining such activities?
perhaps
it's not jay chou's concert
not wang lee hom's either
nor even rihanna(well, she is hospitalized now....)
perhaps it's boring
but how do you define boring then?

i have no rights to criticize
for i am not perfect either
and everyone has their rights to choose what they want to do
be it watching orchestra
watching ghost stories
watching musicals
shoppings
and whatever might pop out in your mind

but then again
just a little reminder
sometimes
it does do good for you to break out from your circle
and view life from a different point of view
make new friends
and see those little things that you have ignored
in your quest to acheive your dreams

life is not all about hanging out with the same bunch of friends
nor is it all about studying
well.
all i want to say is
it's the life you choose
but
do notice the small things as you go along

cartoons

2009-02-10T03:12:00.003+08:00

i want to go back to my childhoiod years
where i can enjoy everything
without having to think about what is going to happen next

cartoons rock in that time
no one will complain
it's always fun to be living in the cartoon world
no worries
it's a world where even if you got shot in the head
you won't die
it's a world where imagination live
it's a place
where everyone cares

i don't want to be at my situation now
but
it's life that i need to follow it
it just keeps going on
and will never ever stop
seeing what i am doing now
with physics as my greatest foe
trying hard to befriend it
and the rest are my friends
i am trying hard

oh cartoons
pokemon
digimon
and all
i can't remember all
but there are medabots
cardcaptor sakura
hamtaro
thunder cats
barney
doraemon
power rangers
and all

how our childhood years
full of fun and excitement
but how i was such a fool
wishing instead to grow up fast and work
and then?
stay at that age forever?
how i am such a fool..
what a life i had been living
trying to undo the wrongs
trying to set my goals straight

how i wish
that if can
it's all like the cartoon world
where there are no worries
and you and i
are friends forever

:)

chap goh meh

2009-02-10T01:41:00.003+08:00

it was a weird celebration
no
not the event itself
it's us who are weird

a very simple meal at "scold mall"
what?
scold mall??
yes.
it is scold mall.
where is it eh?
ask the taxi driver
and you will definitely had a good laugh

the uncle is a very nice guy
reminds me of my mom
as he doesn't like people slamming the car door
haha
well
it is a simple request that doesn't need much effort
no offence eh dear prawn sis?

an evenful night
first time to see the waitors to mix up our request
he got all jumbled up
twice he gave us wrong food
what?
3 sweet and spicy deli wings?
please
we ordered for 2 only.
what?
this pizza is not ours.
wrong pizza.
sorry.
(after a while)
this is your pizza, miss.
huh?
really? where is the prawns?
these are the prawns.
oh.. ok. thanks
well
we got overexcited i guess
haha

great dinner
actually, to be honest
it's ok. a simple one
nando's was teh first choice.
but due to some circumstances
it ended up as pizza hut
never mind
it doesn't matter.

it's time to go back
we called the same uncle
nice man
but we waited for 20 minutes
actually he was there earlier
but we were late
yeah right
same ol' chinese
never on time
always complain
we waited while there are so many taxis passing by
then finally
uncle is here
not before we nearly ended up on another taxi
sorry uncle
i got too excited
to go home actually
haha
well
it was quite a ride back home
jokes were "flying" all around
the uncle went to put in gas
and all the girls start going insane
oh
he is gonna kidnap us
yeah right
we were taking a long road back home
hohoho
it was a great journey
as i get to see places that i wouldn't have got to see
if not because he wanted to put in gas
it's really great as i can sight see without paying extra
but it maks me wonder
why am i the only one who actually cares about the surrounding?
haha
no offence actually
but this shows one thing
everyone is not the same
there will be similarities and differences
we can't expect everyone to be like us
so
it's not really my business to care
if joking is more important than sight seeing
and gain more knowledge.
and so
let's sight see and joke together

it's life ain't it?

chap goh meh.
didn't manage to throw mandarin oranges
guess it's ging to be a single valentine's day
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
do mind your language
it's not pathetic to be single
it's exactly how i like my life to be
chap goh meh.
cheers
though it's the end of chinese new year
it's the beginning of new things.
let's embrace it!

live and let live

Puteri Gunung Ledang

2009-02-08T20:37:00.004+08:00

an amazing musical
for a first timer like me
it was a total eye opener
shocking
and a standing ovation to the actors and actresses

well
musical is always something that i enjoyed
i craved to watch mamaia the musical
but never get the chance
now
at least with PGL
well
is gives me a huge sense of satisfaction
haha
it has always been my dream to be on stage
and perform
performing arts rocks

well
back to the storyline of PGL
it's about a majapahit princess name
gusti putri retno dumilah
if i am not mistaken
and her brother
the majapahit king
gusti adipati
the princess fell in love with hang tuah
the ambassador from melaka
and so did hang tuah
but she was bethrothed to the sultan of melaka, sultan mahmud
as the sultan helped her brother to defeat demak
thereforerules
the princess ran away to gunung ledang and waited for hang tuah to find her
hang tuah went to find her
but it was to send the sultan's marriage proposal to her
to show her rejection
the princess set 7 "insane" permintaan
one which include a bowl of putera ahmad
that is the sultan's son blood
the sultan was about to kill his son
when gusti putri raden ajeng retno dumilah
ran in to save the prince
the sultan was angered by her rejection
and he cursed her to stay at gunung ledang alone
with anyone who caught a glimpse of her will be cursed too

a love story with great music and dancing and all.

gosh.

MUSICAL ROCKS!!!!

foolish

2009-02-05T01:40:00.004+08:00

sometimes
when the going gets tough
the tough gets going

haha
really
looking at what i am doing right now
it's getting harder and harder
oh
how we suffer and at the same time enjoy the road that we chose

how i wonder
that what is this life all about?

again
i am being emotional
looking at myself
i wonder why am i so selfish?
a friend in need is a friend in deed
but what i did was to criticize
and be cruel

but
am i cruel?
i myself is not sure
i am such a fool
i am not a person who understand people's feeling
am i not?
i do not know
but what i know
is that sometimes i like to act cool
haha
and pretend that nothing matters to me?

i am a pathetic person
i look down on people when i shouldn't
always wanting to make people follow my way of doing stuff
as bossy as ever
as cruel as ever
as ...

maybe
one day i will realize
that all is nought
and i am just fooling around
maybe i had already realise the fact
but i just don't want to get out from it

maybe
i am
just walking around
seeking
thinking
wanting
i do not know

all over again

2009-02-02T03:02:00.003+08:00

it seems that
the life cycle always take place
when i wanted it to stop
the truth is
the cycle continues whether i like it or not

never really wanted to be at here
i am only here because of the sponsorship
never thought of being an architect
i sucks at art when i was young
that is a complete truth

looking back at my old drawings
it really shows that i am not someone suited to be in the line of drawings
but
how fate has its own plan
and
ta-dah
i am a soon-to-be architect
yeah
great.
so cool
really
it is something that comes out of the blue

i wanted to be a scientist when i was young
always fascinated by the space
i wanted to be an astronaut
i can never be a teacher
i had a very bad temper
and constant mood swing
it's like i have a dual personality
no
i have dual personality
that's why teaching can never be my profession
i wanted to be a chef
to travel around the world
and cook all those dishes
that i wouldn't be able to cook
as they are not local delicacies

so many things i wanted to do
but in the end
i ended up as an architect
[let's cross our fingers together and hope that i do become an architect :)]
it seems that i promise so much
my brain thinks a lot
but in the end
i didn't manage to get what that should be done-DONE
what a liar i am
and it keeps on going on for ages
how pathetic

we promise a lot
but how much can we keep?
ask yourself
and see how many promises have gone into the drain?
i am at no position to criticize people
as i myself am not perfect
but at least
if i could knock some sense into you
can also myself
then
let us be the keeper of promise
and try to fulfill all our promises
make it work

good looks is not what define you

2009-01-30T22:15:00.005+08:00

who says good look is what define you as a person
only fools got bewitched by a beautiful yet evil person
(but to be honest, i like handsome guys, and i am pretty damn sure that you like cute pretty girls too isn't it? ok. it would be a diferent case if you are a girl XD)

say
i do have a penchant for cute guys
pathetic
it's like who would want someone who is not really good looking as their dream guy
honestly
yeah
it is a fantasy
that will either be crushed
or will definitely come true
it's quite a funny thing isn't it?
that you might see pretty girls with not-so-handsome boyfriend
and vice versa
but it's a totally different case for celebs
ever see any not so good looking celeb with a hot partner?
nah
it's like it only exist in the world of ours
the normal one i mean
the one whose life goes on
and no one would have care if you drunk-drive
or you shaved your head bald
(i wanted to shave my head bald, but i don't think now is a good time though, nnot all can accept such insanity :D)

so
are you dwelling in self pity now?
wondering why you are not born cool, handsome, and suave?
or pretty, sweet and lovely?
hah
looks are just skin deep isn't it?
so
get up
and strut your stuff
who the hell care?

(we rocks!)

cripple

2009-01-28T23:05:00.006+08:00

"last time, i used to sit at there drinking coffee every night."
"..."
"thank you"

"whose feets?"

sometimes
it makes me wonder
that what is filial peity
and what is money

money rules
over the universe
isn't it?

the point of living on earth
and the point that is pointed out
to everyone of us
sometimes is just ignored
so that we can make way for money

how sad it is to see
that you and i
forgot about
compassion
love
caring
kindness
that all we see
is nothing but tonnes of gold

it is never a burden to care
and it is not a sin to be compassionate
how we humans think
and our actions define
it is sad to see
that we put our own interest
above those who needs it the most

it's not his wish to fall and become crippled
sometimes
things just happened just like that
if only more time are spent
and more care are given
perhaps
he would have still be walking around
waiting for you to come
and become a busybody when seeing you reverse the car
perhaps
every morning you will see
packets of nasi lemak on the table
with NST or Berita Harian
and also roti canai if he managed to buy them
perhaps
you will get the chance
and walk with him
to the nearest store nearby
to buy cigarettes with him

how life change
with just a fall
it had happened
even if we hated it
why do we have to be so cruel
and turn a blind eye on those that need help

money isn't everything
sometimes
it's better to just show you care
by caring
how hard could it be?

at the time when he need you the most
you shunned him
you scolded him
you cursed him
how do you define lucky
when he is bedridden
and all he can do is sleep or sit all day long?
is it lucky to get things served for you?
is it lucky to only stare and unable to do anything?
is it lucky to need help just to get up?

...

you can't bear it youself
so
why expect people to be the same?

*sigh*

to be or not to be

2009-01-25T02:38:00.003+08:00

love
is always messing around with our lives
whethere you like it or not
whether you want it or not

crush
is what you got
when you become besotted to someone
it makes you go nuts
when you least expect it to be

desperate rfor love?
vying for attention?
trying to create a new image?
anything that is assocaited wif a romantic relationship?

oh
it makes you dizzy alright
and it makes you suffer from the unknown
it's hard to be put in words

falling in love
yet being bcoming a subject of gossip
it's not a great thing
busybodies
nosing around
wanting to know the truth
makes you feel liek vomiting

the worst thing is
all this paparazzi kind of thing
with people everywhere
trying to dig out your secrets
makes you feel like letting it all go

oh
love
cupid cupid
you strike and you leave
the troubles behind oneself
it is sweet
but at the same time
it is just....

...

plain annoying.

stupid cupid.

the rush of the wind

2009-01-25T02:23:00.002+08:00

standing in the market
feeling the rush of the wind
what a feeling

standing at the back door
staring at the vegetables
it was 7.30am in the morning
and to be able to feel
the morning breeze rushing over you
what a feeling

if you did notice
the wind during chinese new year is very soft
like cotton
and it feels very 'cuddly'
it makes you forget all your troubles
it brightens your day
very fun indeed.....

kids nowadyas
only be too immersed in buying clothes
if you dare don't be so pathetic
just feel the rush of the wind

(i can't wait for the Niu Year 2009 to come
i love CNY!!!! Welcome...)

money

2009-01-25T01:47:00.003+08:00

fool
so foolish
a resolution not kept
a promise broken
a lie
a stupid move
how ironic

regretS come
and the feeling is still there
it's not erally a good feeling
yeah right

it was suppose to be
only one blouse and one camel trousers
instead
it end up as 4 blouses
and 1 jeans
yeah right
crap
nonsense
stupidity
insanity
liar
and worst still
there is also one carlo rino purse (50% discount)
it sucks a lot
how i hate myself

i am not a fashionista
so why the heck did i waste RM200++ on unnecessary stuff?
it's only once a year
and all those clothes bought
never really get to see the light of the day
i am such a hypocrite
why did i waste so much money?
world economy is at its lowest
and i am still wasting
oh great
hypocrite
and i am still spending like there is no tomorrow
money doesn't just fall off from the sky

gonna cut down on my spending drastically
it's a promise made
a promise to be done
i am no hypocrite
(maybe a little, up to you to decide)
but

money matters
and either i change now
or
i am just a loser

(it all ends up as nought, why do i even bother about clothes then?
how i waste teh money
for what?
sense of satisfaction?
to not being labelled as an aunty?
to be more fashionable?
crap.
all i want is money
loads and laods of money
story books
loads and loads of money
and become a chartered architect
~and lots of other jobs that i need to do!!~
the heck with all the clothes
what a waste.
i need to cut down on excessive spending
which actualy include food
(goodbye kinsahi, secret recipe.......)

and if i can, goodbye birthdays...
(i wish i am a damn a stingy person
who don't accept presents
and never give presents...
i sound like ebenezzer scrooge ain't i?)

a fool with a fashionista
what a downright waste
.....

words don't come easy

2009-01-23T01:23:00.003+08:00

i hate you
but i can't bring myself to say it
i like you
but all i can do
is watch you fade away

words
never come easy
you want what you want
but sometimes
it's just too hard to open your mouth
and blab them out

i wish i have the guts
that we all have the bravery
to stand up for what's right
and make our stand as clearly as it can be

but
until now
all that is all around
is nothing but truths half-told
lies all around
making myself as a fool
it just turn out to be
that sometimes
i just love to keep my mouth shut

it's hard to say the phrase out
"get the heck outta here!!"
never been able to say it out
always looming around
hoping that one day
i could be as thick-skinned as
the great wall of china
and be able to express my opinion

(just spit it out right in front of your face)

CRAP

lies

2009-01-23T01:10:00.003+08:00

it has been said
that with our own tongue wagging around
we love to tell lies
spreading gossips around
telling lies from nought

oh
how we human live our life
with lies that lies all around??

trying to see through it
the reason that make you lie
perhaps
it's a white lie
being told to avoid troubles
perhaps
it's just a plain old lie
that is told for the fun of it

how would you define it everytime you lie?

i lie to avoid embarassment
i lie to avoid being scolded
i lie to show that i am not an idiot
i lie to save myself from troubles
i lie to help my friends....

i lie....

all that i wanted to say
i lie because i can't help it
it sucks to be labelled as a LIAR
it never give me much satisfaction.
what i want
what i think
what i wanted to say
sometimes just fade away
and instead of stating the point
i just beat around the bush
for what purpose?

...

UNKNOWN

oh lies after lies
the torments it gave me
the sufferings it brought to all
was it(were they) worth it?

what is life without lies?

it's always circling around us
and it never stops
wonder
what

..

would it end up as?????

bugging

2009-01-17T06:15:00.004+08:00

there is a bug nearby
who just like flea
just won't stop bugging people

oh
you know what it do(still doing)?
either busy "buzzing" around
or it will just busy "sucking blood"
nothing much of a contribution
but only all the troubles

either it stays for a long time
or it went out for a long time too
never seems to want to get out
and alwyas as thick-skinned as ever
lounging around
or else
it just won't stop bugging

it's just a mistake
for letting it live
when it should have been smacked
being to nice to it
has caused it to think
that everyone likes it
and would just let it stay over
what the heck is it thinking?

it was shunned by its friends
one wonders why?
perhaps because it is the "blood-sucker"
that even the its species hate it
oh. how pathetic

it just can't stop bugging
that it started to take advantage of others' kindness
and "sucks even more blood'
it is always pretending to be nice
as if a blood sucker and the host
is actually practising mutualism
when the truth is
it is only using the host
and gain advantage from that

all it knows is to suck blood
and always going out to spend its time
trying to make amends
it makes up with all the mess
by giving titbits all around
oh how "thoughful"

it knew the host is fed up
but it use the kindness of others
and decided that it should stay
it just can't stop bugging
and always acting as if the host is its house
it just can't stop disturbing
and worst
it always wanted to act clever
pretending that it knows best

it never deserved what it has now
all of those who deserved it
just had to let go to the one
who never seems to appreciate everything
it broke its promise
and make no amends for that
it cause people to suffer from what it did
but
it just never change
it spoke as if it knows all
but the truth is
apart from sucking blood
all it has is a big mouth

perhaps
....

it just love to bug
(it's a flea isn't it?)

ah oh.
HOW IT SUCKS!!!

a walk to remember

2009-01-17T05:46:00.002+08:00

a whole lot of unexpected stuff happens
when you are not searching for it

suddenly you found yourself winning lottery
suddenly you found yourself in a quarrel
suddenly you found yourself in love
suddenly you found yourself jungle trekking

suddenly

....

you just walk

oh
walk?
i did rather use a car or anything
but please
no walking
typical people isn't it?

why walk when you have all the means of transportation?
it seems that as human
usually we just like to do the same thing all over again
it's not really ALL of us
it's mostly

would you trade the comfortable life you have now
with something chanllenging and troublesome?

would you trade your Prada shoes
for bare feet?
would you trade your LV handbag
for a plastic bag?
would you trade your handphone
for public phone?
would you trade Ferrari
for walking?
would you trade Padini
for nothing branded?

....

would you?

.....

it's a challenging life out there
it seems that either we back off when we meet a dead end
or we put up a brave font and continue searching for a way to get out

you can get to your destination
just by walking
with grit
with determination
with bravery

sometimes
it pays to just walk
and you will see lots of stuff
that you'd never know
if you always sit in a car

experience in life
come from everything we do
don't always lead the same life
change
but always change for the good

it seems that we are too pampered
that we never know the suffering
of those who can't afford the luxury we had
if you can
it would have been nice
if you are willing to part with
shoppings
playing
listening to your iPod
and do contribute your part
to the society who needs you most

...

it's time to give back

[PS: from here to KTM, you just need 15 minutes by walking :)]

oh. how R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C

2009-01-14T17:40:00.004+08:00

romantic
wow

please

you should
open the car door
and let the girl in
instead of letting her do it herself
if you don't
you are such a selfish guy

you should
give her your hand
when she wants to cross the drain
or anywhere where there is a gap
if you don't
you are such a "non-gentleman"

you should buy her gifts
whenever she asks you
"i want new contact, buy me one"
if you don't
you are such a stingy man

you should buy her presents
birthdays
valentine's day
dating anniversary
wedding anniversary
well
if you can
she would like to have presents everyday
if you don't
you are just such a jerk

you should make her happy
whenever she is sad
laugh along with her
even though you are bleeding inside
if you don't
oh man
you are so insensitive

you should
......

(my goodness, girls are bossy aren't they?)

(guys, if you are any like that
sorry to say
but u are just so pathetic)

(i got my own money
i can buy what i want
i got my own hands
i can open the door
i got my own feet
i can cross anything with a gap myself
i am a human being
i can find ways to make me feel better)

(ROmanTIc???
study first-lah!!)

beauty is in the eye of the beholder

2009-01-14T16:58:00.003+08:00

so
she is not pretty eh?
then how do you define beauty then?
it's like
the girl of your dream is definitely the prettiest one
and the one that has nothing to do with you
nah
she is so not cool

yeah right

how do you define beauty
definitely the definition is not the same for all
don't judge a book by its cover
as beauty is in the eye of the beholder

beauty
is not all
the world won't stop spinning
just because you think of yourself as ugly
oh please
get into some sense
and do realise
that the word "ugly" always vary from one person to another.

beauty or not
it's all nought in the end
nothing remains forever
so

..

dude
let me tell ya something
don't let the beauty fanstasy get into you
that you end up remarrying
everytime your wife turns "ugly"
(read:old)

suckers

irresponsibility is the new you

2009-01-13T01:30:00.003+08:00

oh
you are so irresponsible
maybe i am being unreasonable
but why is everything so impossible
when you were the one who is responsible

the circle of life
where the wheel goes around and around
and never stops
and what goes around comes around
(even Justin Timberlake knows that *sigh*)

what is responsible
what
it is a positive remark from ethics point of view
of course
trying to ask like as if we' d care
when the truth is
we don't even bother

....

what you take from the society
you give back
can you do that?

lonely planet

2009-01-13T01:16:00.003+08:00

lonely
is not something that i want
although
sometimes
i do wish i am alone

never like the notion of competing with friends
never like the question "how many marks har?"
never like the feeling of being the only one struggling around

living with friends
makes me appreciate them more
but it also made me hate myself more
i' d wish to be alone
so that i won't be pretending
acting like a fool
doing what that is so totally not me

...
but

what is me?
M-?
E-?

what?
why?
the usage of me
makes me wanna stop this whole thing right now
spread my "wings"
and fly into a place of my own

a place
surrounded by
my childhood dreams
and never have to be at here
forcing myself
to be not so calculative
to be not so individualistic
to undertsand people more
to do things better
to be nicer
it is the feeling that living with people
that makes me suffer

oh
...

how sentimental
how emotional

when you have it
you complain
when you don't
you stil complain

what am i thinking about
trying to be a lone ranger
living in a lonely planet
be surrounded by nothingness
where everything is null and void
to be alone
to suffer
to enjoy
alone?

call me insane
but everyone knows it
oh
sometimes
we just wanna be left alone

(gosh, what am i doing?)

lost and found

2009-01-10T11:14:00.003+08:00

i just realize
that sometimes
open my mouth to ask is better than keep quiet and act clever
yeah
a lesson learnt from today's event

i thought i was on the right 'bus mini'
because i saw the word "sec 17" written on the board
but perhaps
my vision is blur
and i "mislook" sec 7 for sec 17
crappy
it's time to get my eyes check i suppose
haha
but maybe i didn't get it wrong
maybe the "bus mini's" route is a little longer
the driver told me i should have board the bus from the opposite side
haha
the good thing is he didn't scold me
thank goodness
or else it would have been embarassing plus annoying
(what should i be annoyed? it's my fault after all... ahahahaha)

i started to feel uneasy about the trip
when i saw everyone getting down at SACC Mall
woops
but i didn't panic
(ok, now it started to sucks, i didn't panic??? yeah right XD)
nah
i didn't actually.
the bus driver asked me
"where are you going? what?! section 17? you should have board the bus at the opposite site, not here"

ouch

.....

"you just came here to study?"
"yeah, first time"
(it's my second sem actually, but better say 'yes' to avoid being labelled as dumb,
hohoho)
"so where are you from"
" 'city of stars' "
"oh, next time you should take the bus from the opposite site. from here it's gonna be a longer journey.."

yeah
he was right
it is a LONG journey
hahaahah

but

from this experience
i just realise
there are many green places in shah alam
loads of fields
loads of people
and it was quite fun to take the ride
and look at the places that i wouldn't have step my feet there if not because i took the wrong bus
there's always a silver lining in everything
isn't it?

it was an eye-opening experience
how the bus system works here
how many sections and roads they have
(i knew there are many sections here last year when i didn't tell the taxi driver actually which section 17 i wanted to go, ended up going to the wrong place, ouch)
you can't find such stuff in the "city of stars"
because it's such a small town there
(bandaraya they said, but i don't think so, neither did mr Lim Beng Hin, my joker geography teacher back in form 3)
hahaha
but a small place is good too
not confusing at all
hahahaha

my conclusion
if i had chosen to walk from my hostel to the college
it would have taken 30minutes
how did i knew that?
i walked before
oh yeah
i would have seen the same thing just liek alst time
it's good to take the long road
and end up seeing places you' d never seen ebfore
it's not a waste of time
as long as you can look at the brighter side
i wish i had a bicycle
then i would have been able to go around here
and broaden my view
i am just like a "katak di bawah tempurung"
for all is college's bus, taxi, ktm
and nothing else
give me a bicycle
and it's going to be paradise for me

hahahahhaa

sometimes
in life
take a detour from your usual route
you might see something different
and you won't be so narrow-minded

walk i say
cycle i say
don't always take the easy path
for it would have been a boring life
if all you want
is luxury and nothing else

(i want a bicycle by the way, can you buy me one?)

~there will always be a silver lining in the cloud~

ironic

2009-01-09T16:40:00.006+08:00

to care or not to care
is the question that to be

can't seems to decide
whether
caring is
good or
not
either
u will be label as a
busybody
(kepo in hokkien)

anyway
the only thing that matters
is actually
as long as you like it
no one has the right to stop you

but
here's the catch
don't "over care"
about other people
and forget about yourself
no matter how important that person is
in the end
it's your thought that matters the most
(sounds ironic, because i' d asked people not to be so individualistic and now
i came to say that caring for people is a tad too busybody)

nah
actually
it's just a thought
that sometimes become tangled up
and whatever that wants to be mention
ends up in the other way round
makes us goes crazy sometimes

the brain is so full of information
that you' d end up going crazy
if you let all the thoughts
come streaming in just like that
imagine you yourself works non-stop
ouch
that would have been really really tiring
and you' d end up exhausted before you reach your thirties
no thanks

but then
an empty brain
what is it for then?
too much
too little
pathetic but true
owww

i am being ambiguous here
that i myself is confused by what i am talking about

bravo
welcome to the state of insanity

thief

2009-01-09T15:03:00.005+08:00

it has been told
that stealing is bad
and it has been warned
that carelessness is pain

you had been warned
"thief, beware
stealing will get you no where
at the doom of the day you shall not be spared
for stealing silverwares"

......

but typical people
shallow-minded
jerk
oppurtunity-snatcher
(it would have work out well if it's not a thief though)

so
it seems
that people
36 moral values it learnt
praying to God that's what it do
but in the end
it take it when it saw it
even though
at the same time it knew
that the real owner
would be
frantically
desperately
trying to find it

the sly grin was etched on its face
the heart was thumping for the triumph it managed

but
you had to pay the price
for the mistakes you had done
no offence
at least it serves as a reminder
and not to flunk next time

my conclusion
it sucks to steal
and it's sad to lose
a lesson learnt from the hard way
as long as you are not a fool

(you thieving brat)

........

money is everything ain't it?

gentleman

2009-01-07T09:33:00.004+08:00

gentleman
or should it be
gentle-WOMAN?

gentle woman
sounds weird
too many syllable
and
it makes us woman
(oh yeah, woman, read:girl)
looks a little too soft
so
no thanks
let just keep the term as
gentleMAN

but
how many of us here are actually gentleman?
do you open the car door for girls to get n?
(please, that won't work out for me
but i can see loads of girls grinning around when guys politely open the car door for them)
do you let the girls
or perhaps,
aunties
pregnant woman
ah ma
uncles
pak ciks
mak ciks
have your seat
when there are no more seats available
in the bus
train
or wherever it is

anyway
it doesn't matter anymore
one thing that make me realize is
gentleman
are starting to extinct
perhaps
in here only
but then again
it doesn't bother me too
yeah
but i still complain
whenever i do jobs you can actually volunteer and help
(but i will say "no, thank you"
please.. i am not a weakling
but still
being asked is quite fun
makes you feel important, *-.-lll*)

weird
that people nowadays
care about themselves than other people
makes me wonder
are you really that important
the word I?
maybe
because we always say
live your life your own way
so basically
it's kind of encouraging us to be individualistic
oh yeah
but then again
it's not applicable to all situations
please

my conclusion
i rarely see any gentleman nowadays
i can't even say i am one too
but then again
it serves as a reminder to all of us
that sometimes
there are people out there
who might want you to ask
"do you need my help?"
or perhaps tell them
"please, have a seat. you need it more than i"

so
stand up
and do your part.

nobody is winning

2009-01-06T15:31:00.003+08:00

27 December 2008
Israeli F-16 strike fighters launched a series of airstrikes against targeted areas in Gaza.

I suppose you know the rest of the story, or more accurately. NEWS
the fight between Hamas and Israel continues.
show your support for?
Israel?
Hamas?
War?
Suicide bombers?

war.
is like fire
sibling-war(read:rivalry)
not a big deal
happens almost everyday
in household with more than 1 kid

friend-war(read: friendship rivalry)
how many marks did you get in your exam?
what?!
better than mine?!
i'll do better than you next time
yeah
sounds familiar?
it is a war
but
.........
it's not going to kill you
(but still, it sucks isn't it?
it's better to compete with yourself
than other people, that's what i think)

love triangle.
still a war.
2 guys after a girl
or perhaps...
2 girls after a guy
(3 girls or guys in the same situation?
nah. you won't find it here. perhaps.
reality sucks,and it's hard to sink in, but then again
since we have people who can't accept reality, might as well consider that particular 'triangle' is not here)
one will triumph while the other fails
sounds harsh?
but who likes to share huh?
as long as the triangle won't become a Bermuda Triangle
and cause 1 or 2 people to disappear (read:die)
then, it's still ok
hey, there are so many options out there
you are not going to die just because he or she didn't want you
right???
.....
i think...

it's not a huge disaster
with this kind of war
but
war on earth?
the real war?

America vs Afghanistan
to find Osama (where the heck is he?)
Osama thinks US sucks, so he bombed them
then US thinks Osama is a terrorist
so she bombed back
wow.
the big boss didn't die though
one got a shoe flung to him recently
(thank goodness he knew how to duck)
the other one
who initiated the whole thing in the very first place
well.
he is in hiding
somewhere
but...
WHERE??
talking about dying as a matyr
why is he still around then?

America vs Iraq
to find biological weapons
to capture saddam
ok. so saddam had been hung
for the so-called war of crimes
or whatsoever it is
but
woops
i didn't see any biological weaponsS
thank goodness too
or else
just like nuclear
everyone would like to have one
yeah
and they will start lobbying to have
each other's nuclear weapons destroyed
what about theirs though?
the malay proverb
"paku dulang paku serpih,
mengata orang dirinya yang lebih"
yeah right
so
saddam died
but i don't think he is the only one
and the big boss is still around

now.
Israel vs Hamas
ok.
so Hamas won't recognise Israel as a country when Hamas won the election
ouch
Gaza Strip
although she belonged to Palestine
israel still controls the srip's
-air space
-territorial waters
-offshore maritime borders
-Gaza-Israel border
wow
so much in their control
so the war broke out
when Fatah and Hamas start quarreling
pitiful
but true
the inability to put aside each others' differences
the rest is history
ouch
if you read today's Star and NST
you will see the front page
with the picture of a father crying over his children's dead bodies
3 of them to be exact
ouch
a heart-wrenching sight

in war
nobody wins
people die
it's time for everything to comes to an end
the world economy is looming
war is all around
where is love?
and where is money?

the VERDICT
war kills
not only you and me
but the environment too
everything will just end up
just like the Malay proverb
"padang jarak padang terkukur"
ouch

future for us?
unless everything turns out well
...

you'd better start praying for everything to change for good from now on
'cause
if the economy is still bad
if malaysians still like to overstay in Britain
how are you suppose to study in the UK so easily?

please bear in your mind
1997 asian economy crisis
PSD scholarship wasn't offered
don't think it won't happen again.

double standard

2009-01-06T14:32:00.003+08:00

so.
it has been told
and even seen
that
people are not
practising what they preached

you can find
double standard practise
anywhere
anytime
you want
who is going to care
except for the people
who had been lied
into believing the policies?

you can complain
as you like
as you might
but in the end
it all ends up as nought
for the power-to-be
wouldn't have care
for now they are the one in power
until the time comes for changing
they would have care less about you

my conclusion
i see doubble standard
at the place that i am standing
it's not going to change
for people with poor mentality
are still the one in power
you can complain as you like
but if you can't change it
let just be adapt
and blend with it.

slippery hands

2009-01-03T00:04:00.004+08:00

a bottle was shattered into pieces
by a dumb act
the hand was slippery
but still
wanted to close the cover of the bottle
in the end
the bottle
just slip and fell

"crash"
the honey inside
was everywhere
the bottle
was shattered into pieces

shouts were heard
and a lesson learnt

sometimes
we learnt by making mistakes
it's never fun
to be do something wrong
but by amking mistakes
we had it etched in our mind forever
and no more same mistakes
in the future

my conclusion
i learn to keep my mouth shut
i learn to wipe my hand dry

learning through mistakes are never fun
but then again
it will last in our memories forever
so
no qualms dude

memories of the past n future in the making

2009-01-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

LCM and HCF
still remember?
the math that we learnt during form 1
all the stuff that we were taught
from pre-skool until now
all the stuff that we deemed easy
since we are much older now

but
look

if i ask you one simple question
from what you learnt when you were young
are you sure you can answer it
say
name the 7 continents and 5 seas
honestly
is it 5 continents and 7 seas
or vice versa
i am not that sure myself either
so
can u answer it?

it makes me wonder
whether
the so-called
straight As that we got
from UPSR to SPM
is it really worth that much
did it represent de real knowledge of yours

knowledge of the past
memories of old
too busy of growing up
we forgot
the joys of younger days

the ambition that we hold on
changes according to time
i wanted to be a doctor
then a lawyer
now
i m neither
even if it seems that i m on de path i chose
sometimes
it makes me think
whether
i didnt make the wrong choice
but then again
a choice had beed made
i'll walk thru it
and if i need a change
even if it means start from zero
i'll do that
for what i believe
is the destiny of mine

the future is never clear for one
what you plan might end up into something else
in the process of laying the foundation of the future
don't let go of the memories of old
the childhood memories
who knows
one day
you might need the very simple LCM and HCF
just to solve something
maybe
the toys that you played when you are young
will be
your source of inspiration
to build a magnificent building

to choose to forget
to choose to grow up
to choose to not look back
i suppose
in the end
you will end up missing the most esential part of yourself

people change according to time
i hope
that you leave
a bit of innocence
from your younger days
so that you are not full of vanity

my conclusion
life goes on
sometimes
take that u-turn
just to remind you
of
the childish things you did
the teachers that taught you
the subjects that you learnt
the people that you met
the things that you did
siblings that played with you
parents that cared for you(they still do)

then...
just turn back
and walk your life with
pride.

X-Men

2009-01-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

it has been said
tat v human evolve from animal
tat is accordin to the scientific view
if accordin to religions
sorry
i m at no liberty to talk bout tat
n neither m i interested in
so
hav u ever wondered
wat will happen to us human in a few millenia time
if de evolution continues
wat wud v end up as??
mutans perhaps?

wat is de so-called normal?
n how do u defien abnormal?
being different
is it abnormal?
wat say u den?
mutan wif super powers
feared or envied?
human wif normalcy
norm of life or boring?

Professor Xavier
is equivalent to 'saviour'
Magneto
is juz magneto
human n mutan
mutan n human
both consist of 5 alphabets
n both consist of u, a & n
at de same place
basically
it's quite de same
wif a little difference

when life calls for it
wud u choose to lead a normal life
or wud u wan an extraordinary one?
everything
is unpredictable
some choose to be normal
juz like rogue who ends up as 'MArie'
some was forced to be normal
juz like MAgneto
some juz wanted to be themselves
juz like STorm, WOlverine, ANgel, KItty, ICeman n de list goes on
some r juz confused
juz like.................jean GRay

in de end
all end up wif their own destinies
n de paths dey chose

my conclusion
a life different from others is still a life
better be abnormal than being a pretender
since beauty is in de eye of de beholder
i s'pose
normalcy is a choice to be chosen
by u and only u
to criticize one's choice of life
is hypocritical

be it mutan or human
life goes on
juz like how u wan it to be

WELCOME 2009!!!

2009-01-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

i eat my own words
i m back
hello 2009!!!

may de new year bring us
peace
joy and happiness
love

new year.new prospect. new meaning

embrace de new year wif good fortune smiling on u.

cheers!!!!!!!!!

the end

2008-12-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

i found blogging
SUCKS
honestly
it just doesn't suits me
the only thing that i like to blog about
is about
the world
the politics
the economy
the gossips
and nothing about myself
because
i have no interest in letting you know
what the heck am i doing
but then again
this kind of stuff
i can't talk
i am bound to law
i m still underage
or whatever they called
even my cousin sister said
no one blog to complain
they blog about their daily life
well
i hate it
my life my knowledge
none of urs
sounds harsh
but i like it that way
so honestly
i am quite surprise that i can continue blogging for so many days
and how many posts already huh?
it doesnt matter
for now
let me announce
this is the end to jenc-id the blog
until i find much better reasons to continue blogging
all you can find in my blog are outdated posts
for maybe
15 years perhaps?? or 50??
i am not sure
well
this blog can be considered as a feat
as this is the first time i can preserver for
hmmm
i don't know how many days though
so be it
until
the mood comes again
the urge rises again
until then
adieu

MU won!!!

2008-12-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

so...
MU won
1-nil against MCity
goal by rooney..
hahahhahahhaha
didnt watch de goal
coz i didnt watch de first half
too lazy
no mood sumore
den iw atch 2nd half
really heart thumpin
den ronaldo got booked
for stoppin de ball wif his hand
but he said he did tat coz he heard de whistle blown
yeah
i heard de whistle blown b4 he stop de ball wif his ahnd
but honestly
he need not do tat
anyway
hopefully dey win de appeal
n ronaldo's red card=bye bye
hahaha

btw
cant bliv it
arsenal score own goal
wat de heck r dey thinkin???

lol.. u cant oways get all u want, but at least, get some is not bad too aint it?? cheers pals :)

PEACE????

2008-11-29T15:43:00.000+08:00

it has been on de news for de past few days
both out mumbai bombingS
n also de governmental problemS in thailand
gosh
makes me wonder
wat de heck is happenin to tis world nowadays
i s'pose tis militants view ppl's life
as nthg but sand
tat can be blew away any time dey want
n also ppl who view democrcay as nthg
but constantly clinging on to de 'throne'
without letting it go
n in de end
creating protests n deaths..
de mumbai bombing was de worst
y on on earth wud tis so called militants kill ppl
as if one's life is worthless
wanting de gov to release their counterparts who r in jails
i ask u
de one who is clever out there
do u know who r these militants
do u think wat dey did is correct??
in de name of god dey say
in wateva de heck of stuff
tatd ey blurted out
to save their counterparst n watsover
y is ppl thinkings so shallow?
honestly
to me
u cant gain anything with war
war brings no happiness
u r never de saviour of de world
if u think by eliminating ppl of other religions juz like tat
if u think u can get wat u want by holding ppl as hostages
guns bombs...
never de soultions to any problems
tis world doesnt need any more war
n i dont think dey need ppl who simply use de word democracy either
de problems lie in de way dey r brought up
their mentality
to think one as more superior than de others
tat's wat causes ppl to be at loggerheads
life
is not juz bout u, urself, ur race, ur religion, ur languages, ur thoughts n watsoever
it's bout us
as a family

*sigh* when will these militants around de world realize, tat they r nthg but hypocrites? causing mayhem to de world, but still parading themselves as de saviour of humankind.

my wish
get out from tis delusions
n step into reality
no more wars.
juz P-E-A-C-E